A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am married but want to leave my wife and leave home. I have met a woman who lives many miles from me. We would love to live together but she does not earn enough for us to live. I am unemployed at the moment but would try and find a job if we could move in together. Its all so difficult. I love her so much that I feel sick everyday. My wife wants me to move away as soon as possible. OH what can I do.....I need help. I wake up very day and miss her and feel so bad. Everything always revolves around money. I just want to be happy that is all...Thank you.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I think you're mixing up at least two things that should each be taken separately.....
1. If you don't like your wife, then GET OUT!!!
2. If your wife wants to you get out.... then get out....
3. If you haven't been able to land a job... then figure out how to do so.... so that this is NOT any sort of condition to other things that you do....
4. Independent of Nos 1 through 3... figure out if you really intend to make a life with girl No 2 (AND she plans to make a life with you)... then react to that (ONLY after Nos 1 thru 3 ARE COMPLETE!!!!!
Good luck...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): Try your hardest to find a job NOW, you should have a job regardless of where you are living although I do know how difficult it is to find one in these times. However considering you're in the UK its easy to get help from the state and I would suggest looking into what benefits you could receive if you were living with this woman. You would surely be entitled to something and that will tie you over until you find a new job. Don't stay with your wife because you financially can't afford to move out. You only get one shot at life and one would suggest you don't spend it unhappy in a loveless marriage. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 October 2011):
 Time to get a job, move out, divorce your wife and start over.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 October 2011):
 Yeah, you should move out. I'm guessing that if you've been cheating on your wife, are unemployed, and your wife is supporting you, she'd want you out as fast as possible.
You should try and find a job regardless if you move in with this new girl or not!
Worldly is right in that you do have rights in a divorce. Consider all of the assets of the house...the house itself, any retirement accounts, investment accounts, bank accounts, big ticket assets, and cars and so on.
You have rights to community property in a divorce, and it's possible that you might have the right to spousal support as well, though I don't know the laws in the UK regarding that.
What you don't have the right to do is to continue living with your wife and sponging off of her. You've made your bed. You need to sleep in it now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): OK, so its very very hard trying to find work at the moment.Maybe look at 'live-in' jobs in a hotel?
Options - do you own your home with your wife?
Can you sell and split 50/50 - giving you both the chance to move on
I assume you and your wife have been together years and therefore everything you have belongs to the 2 of you.
Perhaps you should get some free legal advice and find out where you stand. I assume there are no children at home?
Don't think about moving in with the other woman until you have thought and acted rationally - don't walk away empty handed you have rights.
When you have sorted out your life then think about dating the other woman - getting to know her.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 October 2011):
 you need to move from the marital home. you want out your wife wants you out... what would you do if you didn't have this other woman to go to? where would you go then?
can you do that... find a roommate and get some job? are you eligible for unemployment? or state assistance???
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 You need to move out of the marital home as soon as possible. It is neither fair on you or your wife if you continue to live there, you need to put separation between the two of you, especially so you can both come to terms with the marriage being over. I guess instead of trying to move in together at the moment with your girlfriend you should just look in to work that is available somewhere close to her and look in to cheap accommodation in that area. There may be a few places to rent. Do as much research as you can instead of sitting around worrying about money. Look in to it and you might be amazed at what you can find. Even if it means just a one bedroom bedsit for you to get started with, don't rush in to moving in together, take some time living on your own first.
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