A
female
age
30-35,
*tzsquirt
writes:Hello everyone, I would like to ask advice from those who have had experience with online dating. After being in a "serious" relationship for a couple of years and suddenly finding out that my boyfriend was a liar who kept things from me, I was crushed. This breakup is impacting me to a very extreme degree, I feel depressed and lifeless. Everyday I wake up and don't have the strength to do anything because of this deep immense pain he has caused me. I want to do something to forget about him so I have come across the decision to start dating again. I believe this will set the boundary that needs to be set between my ex boyfriend and I.I have decided to try online dating for a while, but I want to know more about it before I actually use it. I don't just want to date any man out there. I want to find someone that has a lot in common with me, who will not only date me but also be a great friend that I can talk to at an intimate level. I want to find someone I feel I can trust.One of the major reasons why I want to date online is because most of the men that live in my area are just really not my type. Its difficult for me to find some one I can relate to; that has the same characteristics as I: reserved, humble, calm, committed, romantic, and some others.I want to see what types of good guys there are out there in the world. I would like to know if online dating has actually brought up good kinds of dates for those of you who have used the service. How well have dating sites matched persons of the same chemistry. Also what kind of dating sites would be most recommended?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 I don't know much about online dating sites. Because I never used one, but I have heard that people on there can want very different things, so make sure your interests and expectations are the same. However, I did meet my current boyfriend online. Not on a dating site, but we met online and the relationship worked just like any other regular relationship. Just be aware that if you enter a relationship with a man you meet online, you will be entering a long distance relationship. You should not move anywhere before the relationship is actually serious and ready for it, so this means if there are no great guys around where you live, you will be starting up a long distance relationship. Those relationships have extra complications.
I suggest you search the archieves on dearcupid for "online relationships" and "long distance relationships" and read through some of whats on there. Most troubles and problems associated with these relationships will be revealed.
Of course, dearcupid only holds the answer to the problems, so I will tell you now that: yes, those relationships can work. I've seen it happen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): Online dating can sometimes unearth a really nice person. But its a case of sifting through a lot of dross to find the gold. Be very careful and dont expect too much. And definately dont sleep with anyone until you are 100% sure they are as into you as they appear. There are a lot of liars and smooth talkers out there. We like to think we can spot the time wasters but its not always possible. Many are like yourself in the sense that they are trying to get over an ex. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Hi, I'm sorry to hear that your ex was such a jerk. I hope that you are sufficiently over your last relationship before you try to get into another one because it is almost certain that some of those feelings will come up and may cause problems. Of course, going on a nice date is a good way to get your mind off of him!
I know it is possible to meet decent men online because I have! I posted on Craigslist of all places and actually ended up meeting an intelligent and attractive man who has my interest. I posted an ad simply asking if anyone was interested in going out sometime and just kind of described what kind of person I am interested in meeting. I also explicitly stated that I was not looking for a random hook up because a lot of guys on CL are. If you use Craigslist though, I would suggest to only leave your add up for one day and then look through the replies because I got over 100 the first day. Honestly, most of them were not really what I was looking for, but there were at least 10 or so I would consider going out with, and one who was actually willing to drive 4 hours to take me out after we chatted through e-mails and on the phone for a few weeks. We've been talking every day since and connected very well. I'd say give it a shot!
I could tell that he was sincere because he took the time to write back telling me more about himself and what he is looking for too. This got my attention because many of the replies were very brief or obvious attempts to "hook up."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): I met my current boyfriend online and we've been together for almost a year.
I also met some jerks online too. Some were players, others pretended they wanted something serious only to drop me within a week or two of dating.
I persisted though, never had sex with anyone and just used good judgment and took things slowly.
Are you looking to meet these guys or just chat online?
I was looking for a relationship so meeting someone within say a few weeks of talking told me all I needed to know. I talked to many guys online and with that came the experience to know what's good and what's bad.
I think you should give it a go. Don't have high expectations, don't expect to meet your prince charming within a week of using the services, and treat every guy like a stranger, even if you've been chatting for a month.
I'm sure you'll be fine, just use your good judgment :)
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