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I won't be fooled again

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, *owkeykey writes:

I have a problem Im not sure how bad it is. My boyfriend of about 9 months has been so wonderful to me. He compliments me all the time, he caters to me when we are together and he showers me with gifts. So what's the problem right? Well I recently I went used his phone and "discovered" he was texting his ex. Not just texting her but sexting her. Me being who I am I ummm roughly woke him up and confronted him. He was very apologetic and sorry and said he couldn't explain why he did it but he felt silly and dumb for doing it he then promised to not do it again and deleted all the messages. I feel like I want to stay with him but I was in a long term relationship (very long) and decided when I left that, I would never be made a fool of again. I don't know what to do I told him I forgave him and I try not to bring it up but I have a few times and he is very understanding and says he gets why I feel the way I do and because he wants to stay together he just listens to what I have to say and apologizes. This is getting longer than I wanted so I just want to know what do total strangers think I should do. I love him and believe him but I don't want to be a dummy just for love. HELP!!

View related questions: his ex, text

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (6 January 2015):

Ciar agony auntI did a search on this site, just typing in 'boyfriend texted his ex' and all these links came up. there are TEN PAGES of them. Suffice to say, we get A LOT of these questions.

Read a few before making a decision. I think the sheer number of them will open your eyes and give you a new perspective.

Click on 'Search' on the top right corner of your screen just above 'Articles' and 'Sitemap' (below 'logout').

TEN PAGES.....

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (6 January 2015):

chigirl agony auntHe is a grown man. He knew what he was doing. Dont make up exuses for him. Not all men are fakes like this one, pretending to be a good guy, but is a cheater. I say, leave. He knew what he was doing, and if he wanted so much to be with you, or even respected you, hed not sext (aka cheat) . He has no reason to give you for why he did it, because hes just that kind of guy who cheats on his girlfriends. If you choose to stay then you will just have to accept that he most likely will do this again.. Because he fully well knew what he did when he did it, abd now he kniws he can get away with it too, because you stay anyway...

Do yourself a favour, be strong, and dont accept being treated like this. Ditch him, he isnt worth the pain he brings you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2015):

"My boyfriend of about 9 months has been so wonderful to me. He compliments me all the time, he caters to me when we are together and he showers me with gifts. So what's the problem right?"

That he's playing to your ego and vanity says nothing about his character, it just demonstrates what he thought he needed to say and do to get you into bed with him. And now that you've caught him sexting his ex he's telling you what you want to hear in order to keep you there.

Sounds like you've fallen under the spell of a charming, manipulative con artist and so you've already been fooled again.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 January 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIf he is your age group I would NOT accept the "I don't know why I did it" excuse. HE is a grown ass man and KNOWS exactly why he did it. And if he can't explain it, you can't be certain he won't do it again. Only from now on he will be FAR more careful.

It's "only" been 9 months and he is ALREADY doing this, what else is up his sleeve. Personally, I'd find it REAL hard to trust a guy like that.

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