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I wasn't ready for a relationship so we agreed to be friends--but now he ignores me!!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone, I met this guy recently and found out that we've crossed paths several times before we actually met. We're in the same program in university, we share the same group of friends, and we've been to the same get-togethers and parties. Up until now we never met cause he's always been in long term relationships.

We got along great and had a bit of a flirting thing going on. But we hardly saw each other except when our friends planned something, so we really only knew each other on a surface level. My girl friends all thought there was "obvious" chemistry and joked about us getting together in the future. Soon after, he confessed his feelings for me and expressed his desire to date me. It was sudden but given my attraction to him I thought my decision would be clear. Except what I wanted to tell him didn't match what my gut was telling me. I couldn't bring myself to accept cause in my gut I knew it was too soon. We're opposites when it comes to dating experience - he's never been single for long (had at least 4 serious gfs) and I've only casually dated cause it takes me a while to open my heart (and the one guy I was serious about turned out to be a jerk).

Anyways it was hard turning him down, cause I really do like him but I know in my heart I'm not ready. I told him this but he didn't seem to care. He ended that conversation by saying we can still be friends, and that's the last I've heard from him. We still see each other but he'll talk to everyone and make a conscious effort to ignore me. I guess my question is, does he really want friendship or does he want more? What should I do?

View related questions: flirt, university

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011):

Original poster - I know why he's ignoring me, that's not my question. And the automatic title doesn't help my case either haha. I'm just wondering what's going through his mind. Is he trying to make a point by talking to all my friends around me? And since we still see each other, what am I supposed to do, pretend he doesn't exist either?

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (24 March 2011):

Do you really need an answer? It should be pretty obvious by now. He's ignoring you since you refused him.

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