A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my long-term boyfriend recently due to his starting at university; neither of us wanted to split, and he said (although it's unlikely) that once everything's out of the way, he might like to try a relationship again in the future. We just couldn't take the long distance thing, though, and that's what caused us to break up.Because I still love him insanely, for a while I was quite clingy - I'd call him all the time, send him texts and emails, just because I was desperate to maintain some kind of contact with him (I feel like I never really got closure on our split, so usually when I called I'd be really freakishly emotional and ask him whether he still loved me - all that kind of thing. It's a very bad idea to do that, by the way.)After a while though, he got sort of annoyed by it, as well he should. Whenever I rang him I'd hate myself for having called, and then I'd call him AGAIN to apologise... it turned into a vicious cycle, and I just kept pushing him further and further away. It got to a point where I'd call him several times in one evening and he just wouldn't pick up the phone.Eventually, when I convinced myself that he really didn't love me anymore and that it was just over, I managed to give up on calling and I cut myself off almost completely. I didn't send any texts, emails etc, and I just chose not to speak to him because I knew it would annoy him and I'd just end up getting hurt.Now, however, he's calling me more and more often - and usually when he does I'll pick up and we'll be really friendly, but on the odd occasion he'll say something (I think by accident) that really hurts. Just things that make me feel quite small or belittled. When I tell him where he can stick it, he just laughs it off - and so when I carry on giving him the cold shoulder, he calls AGAIN!Given that I thought I was really annoying him by calling all the time, and now he's calling me almost every day, I'd like to know what's going on!Any ideas? :/xx
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female
reader, BadAsh6705  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 It sounds like he got used to having you there whenever he wanted and when you finally quit subjecting yourself to being hurt, he got tired of losing the attention he was getting from you. He's messing with your head and not worth it, leave him alone. If he doesn't have something meaningful to say to you, then don't talk to him. You were doing fine without him.
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