A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 29 and i've just found out on 6 weeks pregnant! The problem is i've only been with my boyfriend for 3 months and we haven't even told each other that we love each other! He's going to move into a new house in a month and i'm scared he will think i've got pregnant on purpose so i can move in but that's not the case!I'm too scared to tell him i don't know what to do i think he will ask me to have an abortion but there is no way!! I'm keeping the baby!I was thinking about waiting until i was 3 months then tell him but pretend that i've just found out!Help i dont know what to do!!!
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female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (17 March 2008):
 tbh if you dont trust him you shouldn't have been sleeping with him. Also if you were worried of the what ifs you would have used protection
anyway you should tell him he would find out anyway and ask why you didn't tell him sooner and open up a can of worms x
A
male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (16 March 2008):
 Hi,
I think you need to tell him now. It won't make a lot of difference if you tell him now or later. It takes two to make a baby and if you were reckless so was he.
To me its a case of him being aware of his responsibilities, he has to know that he will have a baby to support whether he will be with you or not.
But if you think that having a baby will make you guys more likely to be a couple, I think the opposite is more likely. If you havent built up that trust yet then he is going to more likely react negatively than positively over you suddenly falling pregnant. But he may be delighted, there is only one way to find out. Tell him. If he doesnt want to be with you then you need to find out so you can make arrangements for your own future, hiding things now is only delaying the inevitable.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 I think he'll know by the conception date when you got pregnant, so I wouldn't worry about the "planning it around house buying time" being a ploy on your part.
There is a greater likelihood you can miscarry within the first three months, this is why couples will sometimes wait until after this milestone to announce the "news".
It's up to you though, since it is unplanned you may need to give him more time to prepare and absorb all this and it could affect his finances so I would tell him right away. He may not have figured "baby" into his financial outflow and may affect the house buying- oh- I see, you want to be assured that he already closes on the house before you tell him- yeah, I get it. Nope, not here to help you manipulate and he should know ASAP if you are a decent type.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (16 March 2008):
 Hmmm ... this indicates to me that you have not yet reached a level of trust that should have been established before sleeping with him. Therefore, brace yourself for whatever his response his ... but give the poor guy a chance to respond.
Do not wait. The reason I say this has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that he is the father and has a right (yes, a right) to know that his child his growing in you. His reaction is irrelevant because you already know that you are keeping the baby. If he reacts poorly, than you know to say goodbye and move on. If he reacts favorably, than your baby will have the benefit of two parents rearing him/her.
For future reference: don't have sex with anyone ever again, until you know you can trust him. This is not just about the potential for creating a child. It is about sharing your body and, as you know, we women don't just have sex with our *parts* ... we have it with our minds and hearts, as well. Also, if you are considering withholding information and lying about 'just finding out', than you're not being very trustworthy. Examine yourself, girl.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (16 March 2008):
 God, why do people have sex so early in relationships?Why do they have sex before they have even told the other person that they love each other???Well, guess it's too late to ask questions like that now.My advice would be to just tell him and get it over with. The more you hold it in, the longer the anxiety will be with you.Do you want to feel/be anxious for three months?
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