A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a slight issue in that recently I have been sleeping with my ex-boss who I used to work with. Doesn't sound too bad yet, however he is eleven years older than me (I'm 18), many of the people at work hated him, my best friend basically ignored me for choosing to do it and because of all this, I have now ended what was a good month of fun. Yet I really miss seeing him, not just for the sex side of it all, but for the company. Regardless of his age, we got on really well and had loads in common. Yet I know if things started up again people at work would find out, along with my friends who are very disapproving. I don't want to create an awkward situation for myself at work (it was hell when I was there) but then again I wanna do my own thing and have a bit of fun! Ah what to do!?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): Why did you guys end it to begin with? And would he;your boss; want to get back with you if you wanted to start things up again?
I would say you should talk to your friends about why they hate him and let them kinda get to know him, like you know him. If they are your friends, wouldnt they want to see you happy?
But just remember there are always other men out there, men that will make you happy just as your boss did.
Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (7 July 2008):
 When it comes to "friends" who are dissaproving I know how difficult it can be to deal with them. It isn't fair to let them run your life. Friends and family can be a part of your life, but ultimately all of them cannot run your life and in the end need to learn to respect the choices you make in your life regardless if they like them or not.
True friends would know when to keep quiet if something makes you happy and the fact they are kicking up such a fuss about the age difference could be 1 of 2 things. They are either sincerely creeped out or they are jealouse or even both. For flip sake you are 18! That is a consenting adult.
I would say continue your relationship if it makes you happy and it is fun for you. If your friends kick up a stink again tell them how much fun it is for you and that its a relationship between you and him and they should respect that. If they cant they are being very immature and it may be time to search for a new set of friends wo dont govern your life so implicitely. If they act like this now for this one thing they show they have control and who knows what else will pop up in the future they may not approve of and you will miss out just to keep them happy. Dont give them that sort of control. Dont limit your experiences because of other people.
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A
female
reader, permenantlyconffussed!!  +, writes (7 July 2008):
You say you enjoy his company, is it possible to just be friends with him? Would your other friends still disaprove? If you could be friends without the more intimate side of the relationship would it still be fun? do you still work with him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Exactly. I can't understand why your friends wouldn't want you happy...
I can't really tell through the pixels whether you are upset about it or not, but I have a hunch that you are. I'd seriously, one last time just throw everything at your friends. That its just going to be summer fun, that its going to make you happy anything.
However you are probably right that it would be best, seeing as you aren't looking for a relationship, that you would be best to leave this one. If they keep going against your wishes, its just bizzare. Friends want friends to be happy surely?!
And I've never been against age differences. Might be biast but, I just don't see the big thing. Besides 11 years isn't that big a difference if you say like a 91 year old and a 80 year old. It only appears big when your younger.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTrust me I have tried talking to my friends but nothing seems to work. They still think he is a creep because of the whole age gap thing. Yet if I secretly started seeing him again and they found out, it would not be a desirable sitution. I'm having to share a house with these friends next year at university so it would be best for us all to get along. It feels like I am compromising my own happiness for the sake of keeping the peace with my friends. This whole thing with my ex-boss was only gonna be a bit of summer fun so why can't they just let me do it?!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Why are your friends disapproving?! You said yourself it was a good month of fun. Fun tends to mean happiness. If you were happy, why wouldn't they be happy for you?! They wouldn't want you unhappy surely?!
Like you are now...
I suggest you talk to your friends explaining how happy you were and that you need the company. Also explain that they should be happy for you, as you are happy, and that they wouldn't want you unhappy.
I suggest you also talk to your ex-boss and say that you enjoyed his company and stuff...
Communication = Success.
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