A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After my girlfriend asked me to end all contact with a very good friend of ours, because we fancy each other, I am feeling heartbroken and depressive that I have lost such a close friend.I was forced to stop being in touch with said friend because of my grilfriends paranoid personality. I was not allowed to provide any explanation to my friend, just end it and ignore any attempts to get back in touch. My girlfriend and this friend are still friends, but she (girlfriend) avoids talking about the situation by playing it off as "he's busy" or "I don't know, he doesn't talk about it", etc.I miss my friend so much but I am very happy in my relationship. I would not do anything to distrupt our lives, at this point I want to be with my girlfriend for many years to come but I also want to have my close friend as a friend. I'm sick of dodging communication, and bending over backwards to keep my girlfriend from freaking out (which happens at the slightest mention of the friendship).I also fear for my other female friendships (non-amorous), as she may try to pin this on me again.What should I do? Is there any possible way for me to still keep this loving relationship, but also have my friend? Should I move on and forget about my friend, even though it breaks my heart to lose such a close friend? Is the balance in the relationship skewed so that my hands are tied unless I end it?
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (22 February 2008):
 I feel that she feels extremely threatened by this girl, because you said that you both fancy each other. Hence her forcing you breaking off the friendship. I don't know why you are going out with this girl, if you fancy the other one. I think you should choose between them, its obvious you have romantic feelings for your close friend and no person should be made to choose between their partner or best friend. This young lady is ruling your life, if you let her. This does not sound a very healthy relationship at all if she keeps on dictating who to have as a friend. Make a decision as soon as possible, otherwise you will lose your close friend altogether. Dusky xxx.
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