A
female
age
30-35,
*nt1992
writes:I am a 17yr old girl.My problem is that i love my cousin very much he is 26 yrs old.I want to make love with him.He is so handsome. He also knows my feelings for him. When ever i get a chance i watch him taking a bath.I really want him. My religon also allows for a marriage between cousins.But i cant wait till that. I want him any how. Due to this i am getting disturbed in my routines also. Please help me out and tell me how to get him. plz..........
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): WELL i can relate to this because i have already been there and done that and it was my own blood cuzin and me and him confessed to eachother that we liked eachother very much so he called me and we talked about haveing sex with one another and so over a weekend we did have sex and after i felt so wrong . LIke something was missing and like i was going to be sick . So my adivse to you is you should think a little more harder about this i mean he is 22 and i am 17 so yeah thats a little wrong . And if anything were to happen pregnancy wise your child would have a 68% chance of it coming out deformed and it is also called incestt . So my advise is dont do it think about what you are doing first .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): Bugs, that is a very interesting article. This info is really important for our OP. So she has the choice now :)DuncanGreen, I dont know about other states in India. In my state tamilnadu, it is very common. If you have a chance to watch our movies you can see that. Many times the hero's competitor in love would be the girl's cousin (cross cousin) or... brace yourself for this... the girl's mom's brother. Marrying one's mom's brother is so common. Actually many girls call their husbands using the tamil equivalent of "uncle." You will find this one weird. Only cross cousins are BF/GF materials. Parallel cousins are considered to be brothers/sisters. You cant marry them.
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A
male
reader, steaknife  +, writes (23 December 2008):
I would say take it easy. I definitely think do not do anything against your culture. although in my culture it is usually frowned upon to marry a relative, although i can think of one of the presidents of my country who had married his cousin. The former president Theodore roosevelt's wife was his cousin. so i would like to say wait until you are 21 so that it is acceptable in your culture. and certainly wait so that you will know if your relationship will work or not.
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A
male
reader, DuncanGreen +, writes (23 December 2008):
 In our culture, relationships with our cousins are very taboo, especially because we have these beliefs that these sorts of relationships will bring inferior children (which I believe are actually false).
However, I think you should go with whatever your culture permits, and if I am to believe what JohnDoe wrote, that may be fine with your family and culture.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Oopsy!
The legal age of marriage for a guy is 21 and the girl is 18.
Check this article out.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1253810.cms
The choice is yours now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Oopss I didnt read Bugs' post fully and I quoted 18 years of age from my bad memory. So 21 is the legal age for marriage in India? I must get myself updated more. You have to wait for 4 more years then. Try to wait. I say this only becoz you are living in India, not becoz I wanna judge people who have premarital sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Yes, westerners wont understand this. But in India marrying cousins is actually preferred becoz usually parents arrange marriages and they think it is easier to trust ur relatives. There is a lot of chances that ur parents will agree for this marriage. But like Bugs says, in India you will have a hard time if things dont work out and the guy leaves you after you lose your virginity. You can do one thing if it is possible. After you turn 18 ask him to marry you. Guys seldom reject a girl's love. Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Media has a lot to do with What we really need in life.
Most of the Indian guys value virtue in their wives.
A nine year big difference is not much in India.
Your family may allow the marriage.
But If your future in-laws come to know of your affair before marriage they will not respect you.
The guy might think you are too young for him.
The guy may start feeling that you can not keep your feelings under control.He may never trust you again.
There's a lot of difference between love and lust.
Its very normal to feel lust at 17.
In a society like ours,if you get into sex before marriage, the repercussions will not be pretty.
The legal age of marriage is 21 for the girl.
Why don't you talk to the guy and see what he feels about marrying you?
Let's say for some reason things don't work out with this guy,What would you do then?
How will you explain your husband that you are not a virgin?
Its very easy to find out if you are a virgin or not.
I only have your best interests at heart.
I hope you realize that your hormones are functioning over time and take a few cold showers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): India seems to have a different set of rules to the rest of the world, with the exception of America. Pick the bones out of the following link to see where you stand:
http://countrystudies.us/india/86.htm
From the way I understand your rules, you've got a 50/50 chance of it being legal, depending on whose son he is. I also gather that it's your respective parents that decide upon prospective husbands and wives for their children.
Anyway, all that aside, just tell him how you feel about him and take it from there. He may want you too, but he would need to know that you are serious about this. Unfortunately, if he's not interested in you there's not a lot you can do about it. Perhaps he considers you to be too young at the moment - but perhaps in time? Who knows what might happen?
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Eeeeek i dont think this is good in any religion... Family is family and dont think you should be sexual you any family member that is blood .Ever see those movies Wrong Turn ?? LOL No really not a safe thing to do could affect your off springs and so many other things .. Just Isnt right really think about it ....
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