A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So my best friend and I have been dancing around a relationship for over a 1 year. We both felt the same way about each other, but he repeatedly told me that nothing more would ever come about. So, after many conversation and agonizing nights I decided to start to date other people and see what was out there. I didn't want to at first, but my best friend encourged it. So after, several dates with people, I finally found someone who didn't make me think of my best friend (we'll call him Bob) when I was with him. I really liked this new guy (let's call him Steve). So after 3 or 4 dates with Steve, Bob gets all upset and jealous. Then he wakes me up at two in the morning and tells me he's coming over. (he's sober by the way). He tells me that he doesn't want Steve to take me away from him and he now realizes he can't live without me. So I am happy to hear this, yet not as happy as I thought I would be. I decided to try out the relationship with Bob. The problem is that I feel like I should be happier. I had accepted the fact that nothing was going to happen with Bob and I had started to let go. And STeve was wonderful and great! So now I don't know what to do....
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right, being clear, mature and decisive is definiatly something I want to do. At times my mind gets clouded with emotion so it's good to have other opinions! Thanks!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): From what you posted, hun...Steve is your best choice. Bob had his chance and he messed up. He's one those guys that likes a challenge and once the fun is over,,,he bails. His behaviors alone should be telling you, that he (Bob) has some indeciveness about commiting to relationships and he needs to grow up. Bob is a liability..if you go with him, he will do this to you again and again and again. You need to be strong and make decisions about your life that require clear, decisive and mature thought. You need to think of "you'. Kick Bob to the curb and go find happiness with Steve.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (8 August 2007):
Yep. Sounds like Bob was trying to keep you in his hip pocket while looking elsewhere, now that you jumped out of his pocket he wants what isn't his.
Choose one, but make it clear that it is over to the one you don't choose to be with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I should go with the safe one then?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): So out of the two guys..which one was more dependable, the most solid and didn't play head games with you? Which one is less complicated and more obviously caring and mature? I suggest you pick that one. You know who he is. Always make the best decison to date someone who treats you well. You will never regret the choice, months down the road. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (8 August 2007):
 I don't know. Sounds like he wanted you just because someone else had you.
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