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I want to tell my ex I'm pregnant but I'm scared....he calls me bad names and has a new girlfriend!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My bf and me are no longer together and i am pregnant what should i do i dont want to tell him but i need help i am 4 months and i didnt even know he has a new gf and she dislikes me. he phones me up some times telling me how much he loves me and wants to be with me and then sends me texts saying im a whore and a slapper and to stay away i am so confused and hurt and i dont know wat to do any advice plz?? THANKS SO MUCH

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, kimmypao12 United States +, writes (4 August 2009):

well in a way if he calls u to tell u he loves u maybii its true and with the text messages well havent u thought it mite be his new girlfreind? and if ur pregnent i think he needs to know even though if u knoe he gunna accept the fact he is a soon to be daddy or not he needs to knoe. and than after he knows believe me i think u will know wat to do honey. i was in a similar situation where i thought i was pregnent but i didnt have intercorse i knoe stupid but it happeneds and i told my bf he was very supportive and by the way we only 15 so it hit us hard he is still with me and we love each other very much we dont even do anything that mite look like sex or anything similar and life is better now =]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008):

Consider abortion? Do you really need to bear and raise the child of a man who is neither with you nor nice to you? Of course if you are religious this is not an option unless you plan to keep it secret. Good luck with whatever you choose.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (23 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntSooner or later he has to know.

You pluck up your courage to tell him and take whatever comes.

But do not expect too much from him or you will be disappointed.

Those text messages could probably be from his g/f.

No man would call you and say he loves you and then send those negatives text.

You can seek help from these sites;-

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

you have 2 tell him i am 18 and have 1 boy i love him so much but his mom did not tell me . she even went 2 a difrent school . the only way i know is her frind told me and it hert so bad now we have a great boy so u need 2 tell him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

i see your view on things but also, im kinda thinking that maybe you want him back.

so thats something your going to have to figuar out,

do you want him back ?

so you want him to be there with you or just for you thru this as it is his child!

what is it you want you need support but just because your pregnant doesnt mean you have to be with him or put up with the stress of him or his girl friend.

you must figuar out what you want and stay strong thru this as it will be a big blow out when you tell him,

maybe tell him in person,

show up at his work or some where you know she wont be there just dont tell him as she might show up

good luck and i wish you all the best and i think you will do fine just dont over stress okay your better than letting people get to you emotionally in ways which you dont need okay

take care

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2008):

starfairy agony auntYou're going to have to tell him...But what do you want him to say?

Do you want him to leave his new girlfriend to be with you?

Or do you just want emotional or financial support?

Think about what you want from him before you tell him because he will probably want to know.

Also consider the possibility that he might not take responsibility - he might not be that kind of guy but it's good to be prepared for all scenarios!

As for the nasty texts, they're probably just for the benefit of the new GF, or even actually from her!

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A female reader, muffy United States +, writes (23 April 2008):

muffy agony auntOkay,you know you have to tell him sooner or later and better sooner then later.And maybe its not him sending the text messages,maybe its his girlfriend on his phone.Who dont you ask him about it?Hope everything turns out good.

love always,


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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

i didnt have much of a father figure to look up to. a kid needs that. when i'm trying to get over girls i'm horrid to them, like your ex boyfriend is to you. if you think he really loves you tell him to come back, then tell him your pregnant. but again, if it's gonna cause to much stress getting back with him dont do it, your pregnant. ask family for help, if you need to. you need to ask advice from someone close to you also, like your parents or if not a nan or grandfather, aunt or uncle. watever you do dont ask someone your age what to do. they only have as much experience as you do.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (23 April 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

first piece of advice is to stay away. This guy and his girl are stressful influences, and you don't need this in your life while you are pregnant.

But you really need to tell him now that you are pregnant as he will have to pay child maintenance and the sooner he can prepare for this the better.

But be very wary if he suddenly decides he wants to play family man, if you do get back together you will be in a very vulnerable position so make sure he does not bring any baggage with him.

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A female reader, srmrtnz United States +, writes (23 April 2008):

srmrtnz agony auntu should tell him...who cares about the new girlfriend he's the FATHER and has a right to know...and ur gonna be hurting the child if u dont tell him, not him...

alot of time in these cases the new girlfriend changes the boyfriends view on the child with the ex..for example "the baby's not yours" or "i'll leave u if u see the child" which makes become a deadbeat father..but in the long run as long as u tell him and he knows that he has a child out there...sooner or later he's gonna wanna come around for the child...

it'll be his loss of he dont step up to the plate and be they say IT TAKES A BOY TO MAKE A CHILD BUT A REAL MAN TO TAKE CARE OF IT...

and if he's a man he'll take care of his responsiblities with or without the new girlfriend...

good luck sweety..hope i helped u..

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A male reader, DearSteve United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2008):

DearSteve agony auntYour ex-boyfriend seems to be very indecisive about how he feels about you. The telephone calls may well indicate that he still has feelings for you, but when he’s with his girlfriend, he may be convinced otherwise, especially if she doesn’t like you. This would explain the abusive text messages. That said, you have more important things to worry about; your baby. My advice to you is to give your ex-boyfriend the opportunity to take responsibility, and that means you have to tell him. Next time he calls, get him to meet you. If he refuses, then tell him over the phone. Depending on how he takes it, and he could go either way, depends on what you decide to do next. However, know yourself what it is you want to do. Think of every eventuality and how you’re going to act. Walking into this with a clear mind will give you the confidence to face whatever happens head on. I wish you the very best of luck.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (23 April 2008):

cute angel agony auntwell hun your ex boyfriend seems to be going through some trauma or else he wouldnt express his love one second and then call u a whore the very next minute..he seems confused..but since its his baby,u need to tell him,he has to own up to to him!!u cant suffer alone and in this state u definitely need his help..and why do u even care if his gf likes you or not..its normal for a girl not to like her boyfriends ex,i hate my boyfriends ex 2 although she hasnt done anything to me lol!!

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