A
female
age
26-29,
*alico94
writes:I'm 15 years old and am in year 11 at school and I feel depressed all the time. I have 2 close friends but I'm not very good at making friends and they both have other friends that they can hang around with. I sometimes hang around with one group of people but now one of my old friends has started hanging out with them im worried they'll like her better and not want to talk to me anymore as I don't talk to her and they would rather hang out with her. I have barely anyone else to hangout with if not with them. People just don't seem to like me, or get annoyed at me easier than other people. I barely go out and feel that I'm wasting my life. I feel like crying basically everyday and feel utterly worthless and as though no one would care if I was there or not. I'm never anyones first choice for anything, I'm the person who they hangout with if there is no one else to. It started off just being upset occasionally, but now I neally always am. I feel as though no one likes me because of the way they act around me. I just feel depressed all the time. There is no one else to make friends with in school either because i've tried and failed and that won't change now. I really really don't want to feel this bad anymore, but I don't know how to change that, if I can make myself more likeable? I want to stop crying basically every single day and feeling depressed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): im so sorry for your troubles i think everyone knows how tough high school can be, but i think you need to begin searching for yourself and building your confidence. you should google the idea of confidence building. i think if theres one thing you can be happy about now its that youve started your journey to a better you! it wont happen overnight but you can be assured that if you dont give up things defiinitely wont stay the same! good luck. (p.s what im saying is true i was in your position once and im slowly but surely getting there!!! )
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Hi Calico,
I am sorry you are feeling so depressed. At your age some of the depressed feelings have to do with your fluctuating hormones. This is something that you can't really will yourself out of or tell yourself to get over. It really is a chemical problem in your body and brain.
The problem with being depressed is two fold. One people see a depressed person and they walk the other way, you look sour, you look like you don't like anyone, you look unapproachable and when you are approached you often show lack of interest. Secondly, being depressed causes you to actually lose interest in things that you used to like to do to make you happy, it sort of puts a dark filter on your perception of the world and people and you actually look for reasons why you are not likeable or lovable in people's actions and none of this is very accurate. You have become too inward focused and think that others give you a lot of thought and decide they don't like you.
The truth is that people don't give you any thought, they don't sit around deciding to exclude you, they may just think you are not interested in them. In order to have a friend you have to be a friend, you have to act as if you are happy even if you are not, you have to show an interest in them right up front instead of waiting for them to show they like you. Human being's number one fear is rejection and everyone just like you wants to be liked.
But your first step is to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss all of your depressive symptoms, be specific about thoughts that run through your head, etc...and let your doctor help you. You may need some medication or there may be an underlying health issue that you are not aware of that could be causing it, or you may just need to learn to excercise and to eat better and stay on a regular sleep schedule, those things can improve your mood tremendously.
So ask for the help you need and take the responsibility for your own feelings, it isn't other's making you feel that way. You need to find out what the problem is so that you can fix it, OK?
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A
female
reader, YaTuSabes  +, writes (6 December 2009):
This is sad to hear. High School should be the best time of the underage life. There are two very important things you need to know.
One, no one will approach you, unless out of pity, if you are depressed. Even if you are trying to hide it, it will show. You need to have confidence about who you are. If you don't like yourself, neither will anyone else. And when you like yourself, you will realize that you can be happy all by yourself.
"id rather be in a corner by myself with a puppy and a goldfish-- and be happy, than to be sitting around with somebody in my house im wondering what the hell they there for. you would be surprised the things people put up with just to have somebody to say they love them." -madea.
Two, you only need one good friend. When i say good friend, i mean someone that will be there for you no matter what, someone that will do what you need, support you, listen to you, and love you. If you have a friend like that, youre set. Its not about quantity, its quality. I see kids all the time messing up, always in drama, always upset, or ready to fight, because of the unloyalty of supposed friends and boyfriend issues. I, on the other hand, never have issues, because i keep my circle small.
Be open for adventure. My friends and I go to random places and meet people all the time. Sometimes, it'll be a cool person for just that day, or they could be special, and its someone to talk to all the time.
And, I don't hang out with people in my school. I go to school for educational purposes only. Hang out with people in schools nearby. Join an activity to meet people.
I hope something in here helps you. If not, in college, start over. Just remember to walk in there with confidence. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): High school is tough. It's hard to find a group of friends that you fit in with. Just concentrate on your schoolwork; do well in school so you can choose any college you want! Or why don't you try to get involved in different clubs that interest you? That's a sure way to make new friends! Don't worry, you will find those people who will turn out to be your true friends. However, if you really feel so depressed all the time then I would tell a trusted adult how you feel.
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