A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im in such a dilemma. It all started when i was 15 years old and i got into a relationship with someone who was 19 years old. Looking back on it now it was an abusive relationship emotionally. I was in my last year of middle school, i stopped hanging out with friends, i stopped talking to people, all i did was spend time with him. Then i went into high school and i was still with him. I barely talked to anyone in any of my classes. I stopped hanging out with all my girls from middle school. This went on until my junior year. I wasnt involved much in school activites, i just went to school and hang out with him. I was 17 years old my junior year when we broke up I wasnt heartbroken at all I was relieved. Then unexpectedly I met this guy he 18 and we just clicked right away he made me so happy and then i began spending all my time with him we did everything together and this relationship was so much better than the last (So i thought) I considered it to be my first love. He was so sweet. But then everything went downhill when my parents didnt want me seeing him. He got frustrated and would go out and do things behind my back. We were together for a year and half and about a month after we broke up he started dating a new girl.I fell into a deep depression but i didnt even realize it. Him and I were going to the same community college with some of the same classes together. When him and I broke up i stopped going to that college because I wanted to be as far away from his as possible i couldnt even look at him without crying. After that I was jobless and no school. Then i decided to go to beauty school at 19. I went for 6 months and just did my studies i barely talked to anyone there. Then i graduated and fell depressed again because i was jobless. Since then i havent had a job and im 20 yrs I turned 20 later that year. Its now 2011 and i'll be 21 in Oct. I deleted my facebook because i dont want people i know or my ex boyfriend to see how much of a loser i've become. No tagged pictures, no one really that i talk to, I lost all of girlfriends. And when i look at pictures of them they are all in college doing so many things and im stuck. I wish i had went to college, so i can reinvent myself, start fresh, meet new people and have a new life. I dont want to get back on facebook until I at least establish some girlfriends to hang out with, a job, school normal things. Things i havent been able to do because of depression. How do i reinvent my life? How do I get back to being the fun loving, socialite that i once was? I want to go to college but my mom doesnt really support me she gives me lectures on how i should have gone a long time ago and that now im 20. I cant get into college this Fall because i missed applications. I could get in next spring somewhere. But i at least want to get a job and new friends over the summer, how do i do this when my town is so small? I need to take steps toward reinventing my life TODAY but i dont know how :( I know college would give me new friends and lots of activites but originally i didnt want to go to college and i more so want to go to college not for a degree but for the people and i know thats the wrong reason. Is there another way to make my life interested and fun, and social without going to college? Can someone please help me?
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male
reader, elkabong +, writes (17 March 2011):
You have a LONG life ahead to re-invent yourself. I did it at 44, got divorced, became a health nut, found a new girl, started a new business, and I am in love.
The answer is very simple. Picture the person you want, and picture him being with you. Imagine going on dates and dancing. NOW, what are you going to offer him? you MUST prepare for the future. Workout, study, learn to dance, learn to cook. Become SPECIAL for your future mate. Keep BUSY. Plan to meet him. Even set a date: "I am going to meet my next boyfriend this coming summer, so I better prepare". Do this, and he will appear! ALWAYS be ready. Look good, be sharp and funny. and be sexy!
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