A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HeyI am 18 and life in Northwest England i currently work in a bar and have recently finished an IT course, my Girlfriend wants to go to uni this September in Plymouth which is something like 200-300 miles away and i fear that we wont be able to stay together due to the distance. I would like to move with her but i don't know how to go about it what should i do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): I wouldn't move mate. I mean what if you split up....it's going to be awful if you live out there! Don't leave all your friends! Enjoy it as it lasts
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (12 April 2009):
 If you have IT skills then you should find it reasonably easy to secure work in Devon. Try looking on jobs.ac.uk, the guardian news, jobsgopublic or the nhs jobs websites for the south west. Rents can be expensive in that part of the world (I own a house in Devon and I don't want to tell you about council tax...). Anyway, if you want to live together then you need to find accommodation. There are some dodgy areas of Plymouth so read up in advance of flat hunting! Most private sector landlords want either students or working professionals so I suggest you try to secure work, even temping, before you move there.
As for distance-relationships, it can be difficult but entirely possible. I lived in a different country from my husband for nearly 2 years due to visa-problems. It is a real test of a relationship though, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who has a choice but if you can survive the miles then you can endure most things.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 April 2009):
Ok moving cross country is easy.
You will need:
1. Deposit and a months rent on a flat. Hit the internet (rightmove.co.uk, gumtree.com) and find out prices of places you can rent in the area.
2. A Job. You need a job before you move down there. A couple of years ago my friend moved to Edinburgh from the Northwest with nothing lined up knowing she could get a supermarket job or something in McDonalds to pay rent till something better came along. But right now I think jobs are so scarce and you'll be competing with so many graduates and new students etc that you need to know you have something lined up.
After you get a contract and a start date on your job, and you know you have enough cash to pay damage deposits etc in advance then find a place to stay, hop on a train with a bag and move down there. Buy a mattress if your new place isn't furnished.
If you are able to afford to rent a place on your own then don't be scared to haggle with the agency. Tell them you really like the place but your budget is £XXX a month and is there any chance that the owner would accept that if you pay up a month in advance etc TODAY.
You'll be able to book advance train tickets to come back and get more stuff at a later date.
There is a good chance your girlfriend will have to move down before / after you go so you may be apart for a month or two till she gets sorted. Also remember that she may want to go home for the summer / Christmas so you may still spend a lot of time apart.
Long distance is the big test of any relationship. If it's love then it will last. If you are not willing to gamble on whether what you have is strong enough to last a few weeks apart then you are going to have problems.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Specter  +, writes (12 April 2009):
Well why should talk about it with her and see what she does if she say yes but you don't now what to do get a ride and go see her on your days off
...............................
|
