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I want to marry my cousin's grand daughter.

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2017)
A male United States age , *igsxee writes:

My aunt has a son.That would make him and I first cousins. My first cousin has 3 daughters. Lets say the oldest girl is named Tasha.Lets go a bit further and say Tasha has 2 daughters.One name Mary and the other one named Sue.Is it wrong for me to fall in love and marry Sue? She is 25 years old and i am 50.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2017):

I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 48... before him I would have vomited on anyone who suggested such an age gap in dating.

However I do think there's very very very very rare chances where it can work. (I haven't been with my boyfriend for long so I am still testing this theory out).

So in terms of the age gap I think sometimes it can work in very rare occasions but you're better off saving yourself the stress(and believe me it comes with more stress than dating someone your age)

The main reason I think its a bad idea though is because you are related. Delete this idea, cancel it, abort, abort, abort. NO!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 September 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI find this strange, what have you in common with a 25 year old? Does she even know that you are interested in her like that?

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (19 September 2017):

Has Sue shown any evidence that she is interested in marrying YOU? She treat you very kind, sweetly, and shower you with attention, but that certainly doesn't that she sees you as a romantic interest. For reasons mentioned below, I would rather walk thru a field of rattle snakes than approach Sue romantically.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017):

How do her parents feel about it?

The world is populated with billions of people. If you check dating-sites, and listening to the lonely commentary of a vast number of single-available men and women looking for love; I can never fathom why people search within their own families for romance.

Don't give me that mess about far-removed! Apparently not far enough removed from relatives seeking relatives for lovers. Especially very young and inexperienced family-members! You still share family DNA!!!

Yes, it is wrong by all counts!

All the family-backlash, gossip, and controversy this will cause that young woman isn't worth it.

A man your age should be looking elsewhere and closer to your own age.

Dude, seriously?!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017):

Very wrong even if she wasn't a relative. The age gap is too big. Just imagine by the time you will no longer be able to get it up, she will be at the peak of her sexual power.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 September 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI agree, WHY go look for a wife within your family? Are you that hard up for finding someone?

And she is 25, you are 50.

Yes, there are people who enjoy the spring/winter thing. Personally, though, you are a WHOLE generation older and apparently not a wiser. What do you REALLY have to offer a 25-year-old?

If she wants kids you are going to be a "grandpa-dad" an old dad who probably doesn't quite have the energy to run around with a little kid. Not saying older folks can't be good parents but as someone who IS almost 50 herself, there is NO way I'd want to do ALL that again.

What do the two of you share in common? (except genetics)

What do YOU have to offer? Personally, emotionally, financially etc....

What does SHE have to offer?

And do you really think she wants to settle down with a guy OLD enough to be her dad? She is in her PRIME!

What does the family think about this? (mostly though, what does she think?)

Is it "wrong" to fall in love? no. BUT.... Does it mean you have to pursue her for marriage?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2017):

N91 agony auntYes, it's extremely odd.

Why would you even think she's interested?

1. You're related

2. She's half your age

Do you think your family would welcome your wishes of trying to marry a relation?

Come on man, you're 50 years old. Use your brain, find someone OUTSIDE your family to pursue.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (18 September 2017):

Ciar agony auntYes, it is. Very wrong.

There are enough suitable women out there that you don't need to violate boundaries and create animosity in a family by poaching one of your cousin's grandchildren.

And this young woman you claim to love does not need to be made an object of scorn. You've got a whole life time behind you. She's just starting out in the world and doesn't need this.

For Pete's sake.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIs it "wrong"? That's subjective. It's not illegal.

However, it's highly unlikely you'd have a happy marriage because you'd be marrying her most likely for her age, rather than genuine love and common interests. Your family also may not feel comfortable with you chasing after such a young woman, and one related to you, no less.

Is this hypothetical or has this happened? Have you been on dates with Sue? Has Sue expressed she is in love with you?

You are old enough to be her father and you are already related to her. I think you should back off, date women 35+ who are in a similar stage of life as you and steer clear of family members.

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