A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy before my current boyfriend. He is three years younger than me. We got on very well, and hung out often. His hugs were tight, affectionate and comforting. I felt good everytime. He is a devoted Christian and has been preaching at me and persuading me to go to Church and become Christian ever since we started meeting up. He claims that if we don't share the same religion, we cannot be in a relationship. Anyways, ever since he started preaching, I was thinking of seeing him less, but this was difficult because from the day we met, there was a sort of chemistry between us and I missed that when we parted. It is a shame nothing further was going to develop between us... was I in love with him? Now my current boyfriend - we fell for each other's looks, but obviously, as men go, he was turned on as well but I don't have much sexual urge yet. We've been dating for a month now. Things have been going well, and all my friends are happy seeing us together. However, I clearly still have feelings for the religious guy and it sometimes clear on my new fella. I would like to make it work with him, but I clearly haven't moved on from the religious guy. What do I do? How do I move on? Should I dump this new fella because I am not entirely ready for sex? Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): RUN A MILE TO STAY AWAY FROM THE RELIGIOUS NUT!
Listen hun, what people do in the early dating phases is a preview of what they'll be like in a relationship. If he thinks its acceptable to preach to you at this early stage then you're in for a lot more of that sort...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): well did you try giving church a try. You might just end up coming to really like church and end up a christian.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 If the new guy said to you if you don't have sex with him then you can't be in a relationship, you have to dump both guys. The three of you are using each other. The religious guys is impinging his beliefs upon you to feel right or righteous. You are using the new guy to forget about the old guy, and also to get a sense of freedom and independence from being preached. The new guy could be using you for sex, otherwise you shouldn't feel any pressure. You went from "no sex until marriage" to "sex right now or no relationship." You need to find a new guy without any agendas.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): It's simple, you shouldn't be dating anyone if you still have feelings for someone else. I don't understand why people find it so hard or difficult to understand this fact of life...common sense should kick in and be applied in such situations. There are alot of christian sectors that believe that they should not be "unequally yoked" because, the Bible commands them not to for fear that being involved with an "unbeliever" will hinder the Christ-like indivdiual's relationship with God Almighty. With you describing how you are conducting yourself with this current boyfriend, I think the previous (christian guy) did the right thing by not dating you. You are totally confused and your heart isn't in the right place emotionally.
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