| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm in a very weird situation. My wedding is coming up in about a year with the guy that I haven't told that I've had sex many times before, due to some family and personal reasons. And I kind of do want to keep it a secret from him because I'm afraid that he might really mind if he finds out. It's been about 6 months that I've had sex. Is there anybody who tell me what can I do so he doesn't find out? Because I'm afraid that he will really really mind. Even though I feel really bad hiding that big secret, but due to some problems I can't let it out to him.
View related questions:
fiance, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (30 July 2006):
 How's he gonna find out if you dont tell him?
But this is probably one of those things that'll come up and bite you in the ass sometime in the future so it'll be better to tell him now than explain it later.
If he's not ok with it, then dont worry too much. Things will get good again soon. Being alive is a pretty cool thing:-)
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (29 July 2006):
 Don't hide it to him and if you feel the need to then question your marriage plans - to marry someone means that you should feel free to tell them ANYTHING and they should just accept you for who you are. I think that trying to hide things always comes back to haunt you in the future so why not get everything out in the open during your engagement - his reaction maybe not as bad as you think, and if it is then it maybe a sign that you should postpone the wedding until you are deadly sure this is the right man for you. If he is really that judgemental about your past then it is a bad sign about what your marriage will be like - just sit him down and tell him!
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (29 July 2006):
 Why is that you want to hide this from him so much ? Have you guys been intimate together ? You say the last time you had sex was a bout six months ago, was this with the your man your going to marry ? Im a little confused as to why you think he would really mind ? We all have a past afterall.. is there something have you have not written here something that has a baring on this ? If you are to start married life, its best to start it openly and honestly, if you love and care for someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, why are you wanting to hide things from him ? i think there is something else to this your not saying. As for how can you hide it, even though you shouldnt, i dont see how he would find out unless you tell him ? who else is going to tell and why ? I think you have missed some bits out here, and im not sure what best to advise, except that if your building a future with someone you need to be open and honest from the start, and if you cant do that the for fear he wont understand or spport you then i dont think hes the right choice for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): You really ought to tell him. He deserves to know. If this is the man who will be your husband, partner, and lover for the rest of your life, you owe it to him to tell him the truth. Besides, he will be having sex with everyone you've had sex with, and I think it's fair to let him know. It's no doubt that he would mind that you kept this from him. It's not something you should lie about. It's best, though, that he find out from you about your past and not someone else. This directly affects him, and he has a right to know. So please, for him, be honest and tell him the truth. Think about how you would feel if he hid something major from you. I had to step up to the plate and tell my boyfriend that I had slept with his best friend. It was not easy, but it was the right thing to do. He did get over it eventually too, and we're still together today. So, good luck, be brave, and do the right thing. Stay strong!
~RJGirl
...............................
|
