A
female
age
41-50,
*heater32
writes:Hi- I am looking for Advice on a situation that I have been in for 2 years. I have been married for 14 years and only started cheating 2 years ago. I have had many lovers in those 2 years (I know that it's wrong) I have ended all of the cheating and sneaking around except for one man. I work with him and it's so hard to stop. Not only am I attracted to him but we talk a lot and are good friends. I suffer with extremely low self esteem and like a lot of men do, he says the right things at the right time. I want to end this NOW and today. I guess I am just looking for any support or other woman/men who have any advice on this.Thanks so much
View related questions:
affair, I work with, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): I know people think I am crazy when I say this but, I find that men and women that suffer from ext. low self esteem are more likley to cheat than a person who does not. A cheater is a cheater in my book regardless of why they they do it. I would not knownly get involved with someone who cheats because, you are setting yourself up for a emotional trouble in the long run.
A
female
reader, Cheater32 +, writes (2 November 2008):
Cheater32 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just want to thank everyone on this site for their comments. Buthaving said that I feel so rejected I feel like a fool this man and I are both married and he has always said he cares about me and loves being with me I guess I am mad that I let myself care about him. I actually cried today
...............................
A
female
reader, Cheater32 +, writes (30 October 2008):
Cheater32 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is to A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008)....the hard thing has been is that it as added some excitement and great wild sex in my life. Its wrong though and while the wild side that does not want to think of consequences or being a mom wants to continue. The side that loves my family and the life that me and my husband have built knows that this is a fantasy that I am now ADDICTED TO. Someone else who was nice enough to help me out said that were addicted and I really think I am right now. I ended this today and I am still checking my emails to see if he has tried to contact me. The last thing he said was I want to talk to you about this that was 1:30 today......im glad i have not heard from him. But the other side wants him to want me.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): My God, I have just read your story and the story by James45 "My world of devastation caused by an affair" 2 days ago, please read his story as it is the most heart wrenching story I have ever read, and think if this is your husbands and your future if you keep carrying on. I will say no more until you read this and take stock.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-world-off-total-devastation-caused-by-an.html
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): I stopped an affair of 3 years - I simply realised I wanted my life back - the real me - so much had gone on hold and I resented him - the fantasy was simply that. Focus your attention on achieving something worthwhile and trust me you will look back and be glad you ended it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Cheater32 +, writes (30 October 2008):
Cheater32 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much icelordess for you're email and response. This is really hard for me today. I actually ended this morning and I KNOW THIS SOUNDS BAD. I miss him already. He is funny and we just have such a good time together. I know that this is for the best i know how much heartache and pain this would cause my husband and my kids.
I will be logging in often im going to need the support.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (30 October 2008):
 I would advice not to tell your husband, but I guess that would depend on what kind of man he is. Telling him might make you feel better but could be torture for him, so better confess to a councellor.
As to finishing your affair - is changing your job an option? On the other hand, if you finish this affair, another might start straight away. So you need to battle your low self esteem first. Is your husband generally supportive? Do you get compliments and help around the house from him? Why do you seek appreciation from other men, is that because you dont get any from your husband? If thats the case then you should try councelling together with your husband, but talk to him directly first before going into therapy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Cheater32 +, writes (30 October 2008):
Cheater32 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou know I re-read what I wrote and I did not specify any of that. I do love him very much and I have no explanation for my actions other than to say he was my first everything i lost my virginity to him and i was never with ANYONE else until 2 years ago. We have 4 wonderful kids together that I love which makes this all the more stupid.
Thanks for the swift kick in the butt.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 October 2008):
 You don't say you love your husband, do you? Do you have children? If the answer to both questions is "yes" THAT should give you enough strength and inspiration to straighten up and fly right.
...............................
|
