A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically I have been having an affair with a married man for almost a year now, Despite being pretty attached by now i've finally found the strength to accept that things are never going to happen with us and want to re-gain my self-respect and end things with him. I'm here to ask for advice on how to do this. I'd ideally like to end things in a way that makes me seem as though I'm moving on (maybe found someone else?) Also a way that doesn't involve telling him how hurt I am so that he can't try and use this weakness to convince me I'm making a wrong decision. I know how stupid i've been. I just want to end things in a way that lets him know that I'm independent, moving on and that I don't need him.
View related questions:
affair, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): "I just want to end things in a way that lets him know that I'm independent, moving on and that I don't need him."
Op that makes no sense, if you ant him to know then you're not truly moving on and independent. OP independence is alone, is you in charge of your fate, the fact you think it's important he know means he still has power over you. You want him to feel something, that's not independence, that's not dignity, that's desperation.
How to do it?
Simple text message. "We're done, no comebacks, no more communication. Have a nice life. Contact me and I will ignore you, don't get the message I will block you, try to see me in person I will report you. We're done, you're gone. Good bye."
Op that's dignified, independent and very clear. Then you just stick to that.
Honestly you're not going to do that though are you? Sounds to me like you want us to tell you something to tell him it's over in a way that he won't contact you anymore, but that's not going to happen and frankly you don't sound like you can say to him. Otherwise why ask us? A simple "we're done, good bye" and never talk to him again would be enough. The fact you see this situation as complicated as you tell me you don't have to strength to walk away and hope he decides to leave you alone. Well good luck, I wouldn't let my side pussy get away that easily, I want her legs open I'm not going to lose my favourite hobby woman. Then I'll only have one and have to work on getting another fool to be my mistress, you'd be easier to keep than to work on a new one.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 Here's what you do. Go to your mirror and look at the reflection there, and say to it (the reflection): "Well, girl, thank God that you didn't do something so stupid as to get knocked up by this cad. NOW, get on with Sageoldguy's advice...."
Then, you puff out your chest, and go visit your paramour and you say to him: "Stud-muffin, I've come to the conclusion that being your tart isn't ever going to do much to improve my life or enhance my feelings of self-worth. I regret that I put out for you... but I've come to my senses. Soooo, I am going to leave from where we are right now.... and will not turn back.... I never want to see you, or hear from you, again..... 'Bye."
Then, you turn and walk away.... and get on with your life...
Easy, no?
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 March 2013):
 You simply end it without caring what he thinks, without playing games, without contact, as if he's dead to you. Otherwise, it seems too much like game playing to try and get him jealous or to leave his wife or whatever.
You simply walk away, never look back, vow to never ever date cheaters again or be an accomplice to cheating ever again, and that's that.
You will mourn after you break up, but you can break the emotional tie by being utterly disgusted at the way he used you, and uses his wife, and spits all over everything you've ever had to offer him, and that his every word is worthless, dripping with lies, and is designed to be able to fill you with semen on a regular basis.
Get to that point where the only emotion you feel for him is icy disdain and indifference to whether he lives or dies, and you will have achieved what you're looking to accomplish.
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (23 March 2013):
Well done you its now the END of the affair.I would advise you to just let him know in a very firm manner that you are moving on with your life.NO CONTACT at any level after that.Be gentle with yourself take time and space to heal.Then look forward to a fresh start and in time in meeting some man who is FREE to care and respect you.You are already STRONG AND INDEPENDENT.Best Wishes Nora B.
...............................
|
