| A
male
age
36-40,
*cousa0708
writes: HiI have a bit of a relationship dilemma that I need some advice with. I've been with my girlfriend now for nearly 5 years (this January) and things aren't going great between us. We don't have a lot in common, alot of her personal habits/traits really annoy me.We split up earlier this year for 3 months, but we ended up back together because it was hurting her and I got to thinking that I'd never get another girl like her again. Now we're back together, we're back to where we were a few months ago with all the bickering and me wanting to finish it again. But I can't do this just before Christmas and New Year, can I? Also, she doesn't take breaking up very well, so what's the best way and time for me to do this?Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006):
You are correct- you really should not do this before Christmas.
Dont skip on the gift, enjoy your last time together. But dont lead her on either.
A
female
reader, LttleBadMonkey12 +, writes (19 December 2006):
 First of all,you just found out after 5 years that you have nothing in common with this girl!!!What are you talking about "never get another girl like her again" do you really want another girl whose annoying and u have nothing in common with?I know breaking up with a girl is really hard especially after 5 years, but coming from a girl let me tell you I would rather be dumped than have a guy pretend he liked me.So just let her go easy.Let her know how you feel even if she starts to yell and scream and cry.Eventually you'll both get over it and who knows, maybe you guys will end up as friends.
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A
male
reader, Bourne +, writes (19 December 2006):
 You aren't married to her. You need to tell her that you want to break up. Tell her that your sorry she is upset but that you don't have the same feelings for her anymore. Be as gentle and kind as you can. Don't attack her character, just let her know the relationship isn't what you want.
Don't worry about the timing. I would do it as soon as you can. Your not being honest with her, if she still thinks everything is fine and you have plans to end it. She's going to get angry and say mean things to you. Take it like a man, and say that your sorry she feels that way. Don't get angry and yell back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2006): There is no right time, no right way or no right words to use. I know this isnt very nice to hear but breaking up with someone will hurt no matter what, my best advice to you is be completely honest and take the time out to explain your reasons and comfort her. The worst thing a man can do is break up with someone, without giving their true feelings and rushing off to let the dumped cry themselves to sleep.
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