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I want this to be the best date she's ever had! Help!

Tagged as: Dating, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2013)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I'm currently on the cusp of something big with a girl I've had a crush on for years. We met when we were 8 and grew up together and all that cliche crap. Fast forward to me actually doing something about it because frankly, I was sick of her complaining about all the assholes she was dating. Well, she surprised the hell out of me by telling me "alright, let's give it a go" when I told her that the man whose shoulder she's been crying on for the past decade is the one who gives the most shits about her.

Well, we're 25 now and this is could go anywhere but what I'd really like to see is a year long relationship resulting in engagement and then marriage with kids. There's no one I'd rather be with than her! She's been the love of my life since I was 8 and we're actually, FINALLY, going on a date with each other this weekend! I can not screw this up and I'm wondering if any of you has any advice as to how I can make this date the best she's ever had?

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A female reader, Just.opinions United States +, writes (6 August 2013):

I hope im not too late to answer! Im a gal who friendzoned a guy for years before waking the he11 up and seeing him for what he really was- the best friend and listener i had ever had in my life. We have been the first everything for eachother, BUT... He made a mistake that almost ended everything. He wrote me a song that contained a lot of informaion about how he hoped our family life would go. ON THE NIGHT WE CONFESSED to liking eachother. Yikes. I was terrified. The poor shy little creature just poured his heart out to me and i hated to break his heart, but it put me in such a difficult position. If youve grown up with her, i know you know something small about her. Something tiny she wouldnt remember telling you. For example- she thinks squirrels are really cute. So take her to a park to feed squirrels. Something like this will show her how you listened to her, and will highlight your creativity. (dinner and a movie can feel sort of cliche. As if he didnt give it much thought). For me, i love when my guy acts somewhat bashful. And you cant go wrong with a little bit of old fashioned chivalry. Surely she has cried on your shoulder about the asshole guy who treated her like one of his bros. Dont rush her at all- she will probably be in a very delicate place. And dont drown her in feelings. If you focus on making it fun, she will be back for more. Just stay yourself. What guy is more qualified to show her a good time than you? You know her. Youve got this!

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (31 July 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWow this is some dangerous territory. For over a decade she has known you and dismissed you as not dating material. You level of expectation / hope seems very high considering that. The best advice you have received so far was "not overboard", the temptation will be high to overdo it.

My advice to you is to create a sense of mystery. She has a long history of dating bad boys, probably because she finds them exciting. You need to show her that you can be exciting without being an *******. Otherwise she will feel she is settling. Don't tell her everything up front. Leave room for surprise. Don't over communicate, leave her some time to anticipate your next call. One other thing, start reading the art of manliness. For years she hasn't seen you as manly even though you are. You need to learn how to project the right image. You probably need to buy some new clothes before this date.

Best of luck,

FA

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2013):

SensitiveBloke agony auntYou can't beat a meal at a nice romantic restaurant. Find out what food she likes, and surprise her with the venue. Be sure to tell her how smartly to dress.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013):

Be a gentlemen, show you care, be a little romantic, not overboard lol but above all be yourself.. Sometimes it's the little things that mean a lot..

I hope this works for you both . Please keep us posted x

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