A
female
age
30-35,
*nordinary
writes:This is a very long two part question... Please read it and help me.. Your help is greatly appreciated..I've been dating this guy for about three months now.. I know he really likes me. I've dated my fair share of guys so I've gotten to the point where I can tell. I really like him too. He's cute, he's nice, he's a gentlemen, and most important he's smart. I also like the fact that he isn't putting on a front to make it seem like he's perfect. Most guys try to act perfect in the beginning, like nothing upsets them and they try to create this illusion that we will never argue.. but he actually tells me when I upset him.. and in return I do the same. It really does feel like we're in a relationship..... BUT THERE IS NO TITLE. :-\In the beginning, I was afraid of commitment. I'm in my prime, summer is around the corner, and judging by the way I'm frequently "hit on" or flirted with... I knew there would be plenty of other opportunities.. So I would say things to kind of steer us away from making it official but I still showed interest... and I didnt give the impression that I was dating other people. I had this fear of commitment up until about a month ago... After dating him and fully getting to know him, I've realized that it is hard to find a guy like him... Yes, there will be other cute smart guys.. but they might not treat me like he does... or vise versa. Even if they do, who's to say that we will "click" like him and I do? I want him.. He always talks about wanting to be with me.. He claims that at this point, he couldn't picture himself with another girl.. I feel so naive, but a big part of me believes him..His family really likes me, My family really likes him. we can talk for hours at a time, he always does and says sweet things, and I do too... A combination of those things along with some other things is why I think we go well together.This might sound immature, but I want him to come out and ask me to be his girlfriend.. I'm sitting here trying to figure out why he hasn't? He knows that I really like him... at this point its pretty obvious. I'm actually not dating anyone else... he claims not to be either. But if we're both not dating other people... why wouldn't he just ask me? I keep thinking that maybe the fact that I steered us away from commitment in the beginning is the reason why he doesn't want to ask.. I had started thinking that maybe he's saving up money to ask in a really cute way.. He's that kind of guy.Or maybe he's just waiting for the right time. I don't know. =\Part II of this question... I did some snooping... On twitter, a girl posted "I love my cousin @'his bestfriend's twiiter name' and my boo @'his twitter name'" ^I hope that makes sense. He didn't respond to her. But, would a girl say something like that if her and the guy were not dating? I don't follow him on twitter.. but he knows that I have been to his page before. So I thought that maybe he didn't respond because he knew that I might eventually see it somehow.I went to her page and there is all these postings about her missing her babe... and things like that.. I was under the impression that she could be talking about him. Only thing is that she was posting about some other guy as well. She actually said the other guy's name in a few postings. So I don't think it's super serious between her and my guy.. I just got jealous and my feelings were a little hurt at the thought of him dating someone else. Then, I started to think that maybe the reason that he didn't try to make things official between us is because he has other "Boos" that he doesn't want to lose. Is that something I should confront him about? Since we don't have a title, I feel that I would be out of place to confront him about that... but at the same time, the way that we are.. he's leading me to believe that I am the only girl that he's dating. I don't want to come off as being immature. Is that immature to get mad about?I know I shouldn't have snooped.. but I have major trust issues from my previous experiences. I guess this is that old saying... "If you go looking for things, you'll find it"But now that I've found it, what do I do? Help.. please.
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female
reader, Evollove  +, writes (19 April 2012):
To be honest, enough time has been wasted here beating about the bush. You should just ask " do you consider me as your girlfriend?", if he asks why, just say that if he is ever brought up in conversation, that you dont know what to call him...your mate? your "kind of" boyfriend?"...just ask, and he will then know that you not just your own reasons, but these reasons too! How does he describe you to his friends? Girlfriend, or just friend? If you dont ask, you dont get...just face the fear. If it doesnt turn out well from his answer, then it gives you a descision...to stick with it, or move on...to someone who is proud to call you his girlfriend!
I would love to hear how you get one. All the best Evollove x x
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Okay well dealing with your first question. It is possible that he has not asked you to be his girlfriend yet because of the start and how you made it clear that you did not want any commitment, since then he has told you he wants you to be his girlfriend, how did you respond? It sounds to me like he might actually be waiting for you to say something, he is probably scared of rejection. At the end of the day there are two of you dating, it is not just up to him to make it official. I think you should just be honest with him and tell him how you feel instead of sitting there wondering. Tell him you want more from him, ask him what does he want and just sit down and talk to him.
As for this other girl. I can see why you are worried about it, but it sounds to me like it might be innocent enough. They are probably just friends and my guess is you are being a little bit paranoid because you are setting yourself out to find something, and you are probably reading in to that tweet way to much, however if it is really bothering you, then there is no harm in telling him you saw it and allowing him the chance to explain it for himself.
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