A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Four years ago I met this girl. I was in grade 8 when I met her and she was in grade 10. She told me she thought I was cute, so like any young boy, I got excited and went crazy. I started asking her if she liked me and telling her how much I liked her. Eventually we both agreed that we liked each other but she said that we should wait before we started a relationship as I was young. I resentfully agreed. The next year I met her best friend (GIRL B) who was my age. We talked a little bit at first and I was not at all attracted to her. Over time the girl I met first (GIRL A) started growing a little more distant from me. She would forget to return calls and never have time to hang out. Next thing I knew we stopped talking and she had a boyfriend. I told her best friend (GIRL B) about what had happened and she admitted that it was a very bad thing to do. I found myself complaing to GIRL B constantly and she was always there to listen. We became best friends in a year. And one day, I realized that I liked her. She became my best friend but I never told her about my feelings. A few months passed and GIRL A broke up with her boyfriend and told me that she felt stupid for doing what she did to me. I eventually forgave her and we started talking again as friends. She kept telling me how much I meant to her and she also kept telling her best freind (GIRL B) about how crazy she was for me. GIRL B meanwhile seemed happy for us. She planned a party for my birthday. The day after the party she told me she liked me. I told her that I felt the same way for a long time but I just never told her because I wouldn't have guessed that she liked me. But she said that nothing could happen between us because GIRL A was her best friend. We talked a lot about that but couldn't come up with any solutions to our dilemna. I just finished my last year of high school and GIRL A is in second year university in another city. She asked me if I was willing to start a long term relationship. I said I needed to think about it. And I realized that I couldn't keep my mind off of my best friend (GIRL B). I said no and now I think I'm in love with my best friend who feels the same. But we can't go any further because she wants to stay loyal to her best friend (GIRL A). What do we do? It's a messed up best friend situation. Sometimes the three of us go out for dinner and it's very awkward because GIRL A has no idea about me and GIRL B. But I know that I can not let GIRL B go. I would do anything for her. There are also a lot of little hints that GIRL A showed that she was just using me as a last resort.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys, so its been a year since my whole dilemma between girl A and girl B. Unfortunately, a lot has changed but nothing for the better. Girl A has a boyfriend and I think she is happy with him. Girl B is still single, still best friends with Girl A and we are both going to university together.
I've gone through a year of hell. I have never felt for any girl like i do for girl B. Everytime I see her, i become so happy and nothing is better for me then to make her smile or laugh. I just feel like I'd do anything for her and I'm scared that this whole thing is becoming a lot more than a crush. I have been asked out by a girl that is extremely pretty (probably prettier than girl B). And I still can't force myself to even try anything with anyone else because I only want girl B.
I haven't told her that I still like her since we talked about it last year but I think she knows. I don't know if she knows that i love her though. And I'm scared to tell her because it will make things awkward again. She's my best friend and I don't want to lose her for telling her how i feel. I don't know what to do.
She's still in that mode where she isnt willing to date me because of girl A (even though she has a bf). I just don't know what to expect next year. Will things improve?
A
female
reader, theaboo  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Be patient! Eventually, Girl B will come around and realzie you are perfect for each other!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Yes! If uve already told Girl A that u dont want to be with here then its a done deal nothing left to say. And theyre best friends they tell each other everything..especially if a guy has called and they talk about the whole convo. Girl B has to talk to A about u, and get the ok to date u. Its a girl rule my friend..and if she goes behind A's back and dates u then she's a crappy friend and A would have every right to be mad bc B didnt talk to her about it first. Regardless, B is going to have to talk to A about it, if she really wants to be with u then she'll muster enough courage to talk to her. Its her best friend what is she scared of? And if says no then im sorry but u cant come between two friends like that. Then move on from this drama bc there's other girls out there my dear! But im Team Girl B!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust one more thing. I don't think GIRL B is comfortable talking to GIRL A about this. GIRL B told me that the only thing GIRL A talked to her about was me and that when I said no to GIRL A, she called GIRL B right away. I was thinking maybe I could talk to GIRL A and tell her about my feelings but I think she wouldn't be able to understand GIRL B's feelings if it came from me. Does it matter who talks to GIRL A?
And thnks a lot for the two answers:)
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
Im Team Girl B..Yes, ur correct Girl A was using u as a last resort, she left u waiting in the wind for her, tsk, tsk. I was once Girl A...Girl A is also away at uni so there's plenty of guys for her to date there, LDR and of the ppl away at college just never work. Now, Girl B almost went against the cardinal rule that never ever like the same guy as ur gf. In order for Girl B to not feel like a crappy friend for dating u bc her bestie does, she must talk to Girl A about it. Girl B can tell A: "Ive really liked (ur name) for quite a while and I know that u were dating him and things didnt work out and now ur at uni and gosh there are so many guys here to choose from( gotta get her thinking about the plenty of available guys at uni) would it bother u if I date (ur name)?"
At the end thats the hard part,bc in order for Girl B to date u then Girl A has to tell B that yeah i wont be bothered go ahead..Its just the golden rule for women, guys come and go but ur friends will always be there, and she doesnt want to lose her friend over a guy. No offense to u, Im sure u into her and really care for her but u gotta respect the rules of friends. Well good luck, and I hope that Girl A gives Girl B the green light!
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