A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:"OP Own Title" Been with my bf for 6 months, its been going good but at a fairly slow pace which is good as I came out of a 4 year relationship before this. One thing I have noticed is that he is a very laid back chilled person and likes to enjoy life doing his things which is fine but I have to say hes terrible at calling and texting. Ok if I text him he texts back which is fine but he hardly ever texts me first, I always seem to be the one texting him. So yesterday I thought right I wont text him and make him do the first move... but I got no text. And so far today I have had no text! What do I do now? It comes across like he doesnt give a monkeys about me? now I have started this I really don't want to give in and text him. please help!
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female
reader, natmarie +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Hi, I'm in a similar situation. Maybe you are 'leading' this relastionship. Some guys do not like to impose. i wouldn;t read too much into it because as long as he is getting back to you and seeing you - he is interested. or else he wil not bother at all. I actually asked my BF why he did not always text me first - and he simpy said' because I do not like to impose on you'. Everyone is different. He may be afraid of rejection too. leave it for three - four days and see if he does text you - but if you are finding it really painful to have no contact with him after that time , send him a x, or a smiley face and see what he does. Do not punish yourself, and start game playing. You know deep down how he feels about you when you are with him right? Natmariexx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): I'm not a first texter either. I never text first, it's not because I'm not thinking of my girlfriend or trying to be inconsiderate. I just can't think of anything meaningful to text.
I always text back immediately and am always glad to get her texts. It's just the way I am I suppose, I need a reason to text because I don't like the idea of sending random nonsense just to start up a conversation. I'm just not wired that way.
I usually know what she's doing anyway, I mean of course if she has something important on, just had an exam or things she's anxious about I'll text her then but there has to be reason.
Otherwise I know where she is and what she's up to anyway so I don't see the need. If anything exciting is going on she'll let me know.
Really I've actually never really just started up a random 'so what did you do today' conversation over text. It's pointless to me but my girlfriend loves doing it and I don't mind chatting.
You say this guy is chilled, which means he's probably doing the same thing he did yesterday and pretty much has nothing exciting to report. Maybe he's just not big on small talk over text. Perhaps he's just taken for granted that you'll always do it. Perhaps he's sitting at home right now paranoid afraid to text in case something is wrong. Perhaps he's just lazy or perhaps he's not that into you. Really there are lots of possibilities. Let him text first this time and see what happens. Just don't read anything into it until you talk to him about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): i say dont text him! if you are really that important to you he will find a min of his daily life to text yu a simply text like hows yur day or i was thinking bout you or sumthing simply. no one life is that busy to not have time to text a short simply text.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 The best relationships are the ones in which two people reciprocate. It's a mark of respect for the relationship. Is it respectful for one person to do all the work in staying in touch?
I did this for 20 years with a former friend - we'd known each other since we were 13. She would always praise me for staying in touch but when I look back I was always the initiator of contact. Finally I said "enough". And 10 years later I have not heard boo from her. Her loss.
Don't waste effort like I did. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, Scorpion-Phoenix  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 I think that you should wait for him to text you first..I have sort of been in a similar situation with my ex where i would always be the one to start a conversation or whatever...
So i feel you should let him make contact this time..wait it out even though it is hard...and eventually he will talk or text and it will show you how into you he is..depending on how long he takes...
But he may be busy as well and that is why he may not have contacted you so you should also talk to him about how you feel and see what his thoughts are on this topic..some guys are just not so expressive..or maybe he is not a txter?...Its best to get it out in the open without looking like you are being clingy...i mean after all these are elementary things you expect in a relationship..talking to each other is important..HOpe i helped :)
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 It's very simple: don't text him then. Just see how long it takes for him to get in touch. He probably will, eventually, but it will show what his interest level is.........you might try letting him know you would like him to be the first ot initiate contact sometimes........but if he isn't that much invested in your friendship, it probably won't make any differnece, so think whether you want to risk it.......
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A
female
reader, Practical  +, writes (6 August 2010):
DO NOT contact him until he calls or texts .. don't answer immediately even if hi calls or texts..
ALWAYS treat people as they treat u..
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