A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here's a brief summary.I still love my daughter's father despite he cheated on me twice with his son's best friend's mom (whom I thought was a friend)and a girl who turned 18 years old and he's 38 turning 39. God said to forgive however, it's really hard because he's hurt me. I've done so much for this man and this is what he does to me? to us? I've been there for him when the Navy kicked him out of the service (could have retired last month to complete his 18 years of service), took care of his two kids (from his first marriage) while I was pregnant, took care of the bills and work full time. His income was still coming in unfortunately, it didn't last long. Once the papers finalize for his official date of being kicked out of the Navy, it was only my income taking care of five of us. He's on state assistance, the mother of his two kids from his previous marriage is paying child support (which I don't know where the money is going to because the kids are in need of clothes. Kids grow fast). From time to time, I would ask him about the money. From what he would say, she's going from job to job. She isn't any help. Basically, my daughter's father is giving me mixed signals. Whether or not if he wants to get back together, I don't know. He said he doesn't want to be with me because I'm mean. But then, he tells me things of which equals out to getting back together. I love him very much but I don't trust him as far as I could spit. I want to get back together but I know in my heart I can't. I want a family with him but the trust factor is really hurting me inside. He said somethings that really hurt me, vice versa. My actions results from what he's done to me. I haven't don't anything wrong to him.Should I? Shouldn't I?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Good luck with that and you are in my prayers! Try not to think about him at all while you are in Hawaii, have a great time off, it is beautiful there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response. I am on vacation with my daughter visiting my family in Hawaii for a couple of weeks. He calls to see how things are. I needed to know some answers of what occurred. He had mentioned to me in a present conversation that he called his sister on his birthday last year, saying..."he wasn't feelin' me anymore". Due to my negativity of bringing him down but saying the worse things I could possibly say when he's already down. I admit my faults. I've encouraged him to do better and I know he can however, when he started to do what he had done, my whole deminar has changed. It's always...I left, but guess what he didn't bother stopping me from going.
You are right, rethink what I really want in life and get rid of this man completely. But he is going to be apart of her life.
I have filed for child custody. I have hired a paralegal. When I get back to the states, I have to set a court date.
Thank you so much for your response. Please keep us in prayers...thank you, again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): This man has a long history of not living up to his responsibilities, he seems to be a classic user. He has an ex who is paying HIM child support, nearing retirement from the Navy where he would be eligible for benefits, he gets himself "kicked out" , he is so lazy that even when pursuing a sexual relationship with a woman he goes no farther than to hook up with his own son's best friend's mom while involved with you....this guy has a huge hole in his sole, he is an empty shell of a man......
He then has the audacity to call you "mean" when you keep taking him back after he has cheated on you, given you a daughter without marrying you and after you have taken care of you both financially, he is more than happy to let you pay the bills for five people....Yet you love him? But you don't trust him farther than you can spit....why is it that you haven't gotten rid of this cancer on your life? You have a co-dependent relationship, somehow you think it is your job to fix this man, take care of him and let him devastate you financially and emotionally and you are still thinking about having a family with him when he can't even take responsibility for himself and the children he has brought into the world.
If you can figure out away to afford it, I think you would benefit greatly from some therapy to find out how you can make better choices in your life and stop letting people like him worm their way into you life to the point that you sacrifice your own well-being to take care of them....ask your family doctor for a referral, you will be glad that you did this thing for yourself.
You need to seriously re-think what you really want in life, and get rid of this man completely out of your life. He does not seem to be a good provider or a good father or even a good person...so what on earth is there for you to hold onto?
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