A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i have been with partner for 3 years we have a good sex life but over the past few months he has become distant towards sex we still have it but not as often and i often wake through the night and he will be masterbating he does not know i am awake i just feel hurt does anyone know why he is doing this
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male
reader, EC  +, writes (11 July 2007):
I would dump him, he has issues. He has no desire left for you because he is always masturbating, probably more then you'll ever know. Being that he satisfies his own needs, he has little to no desire to take care of your needs because he's already spent.
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Hi, Congrats! Communication is the best way to get a relationship working!
Take Care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all the advice has been great i spoke to him about it and said i just wanted to understand why he does it,i was scared he would think i was silly but he was really understanding and said work and things get him stressed sometimes so is not always in mood when i am but when he is he does not want to wake me because scared i would moan at him. i told him to wake me or tell me any time last night he woke me and it was best sex we have had for a long time thank you everyone for helping
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A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (5 July 2007):
Hi, try to spice uo your sex life. You should be happy (in a slight way) that he is pleasing himself and not allowing someone else to do it for him. Speak to him and tell him how you feel. the best way to get results is to communicate with him.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 I see you updated on your situation. I am sure there is a problem here, but I'm also absolutely sure you are not it. If he can have sex with you sometimes, after he sees the porn, well, then he can obviously function well. The thing is, he chooses not to.
I see no way of dealing with this than openly asking him. Next time he is masturbating late at night, don't play asleep; turn the lights on and ask him. This is an important issue that needs to be dealt with.
I see this is hurting you. Bear in mind, dear, that the problem does not lie in you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): I went through the exact same thing with my ex boyfriend. I would wake up to find him masturbating, although he didn't know I was awake. Before we had sex, it didn't bother me because I appreciated it must've been difficult for him to lie in bed next to a woman and not get any!!! However, when we had sex and he was still doing it, it really upset me!!! But I think my ex just had an incredibly high sex drive and rather than bother me it was just a way of releasing the pressure so to speak!!!!
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hey babe, maybe he wakes up horny with a hard on.. which some men do, and then because ur asleeep, doesnt want to bother u.. by doin it 2 himself.. mail me if u wanna talk x x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am the one that has to make first move i ask if he wants sex i always sugest different positions and we have watched porn films together sometimes it gets him in the mood.we can have sex and everything is good but then i wake up through the night and he is pleasing himself agian i feel like i dont please him dont know how to ask him about it
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 July 2007):
Oops! When I say "your sex life", I mean "yours and his"; "the sex life of the couple".
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 July 2007):
My guess is, there is a problem in your sex life. The masturbation is a secondary issue; the important part is why you have become distant. Maybe you can talk to him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): why dont you try and spice things up in the bedroom ask him if he wants to have sex and then try out different positions..toys and maybe watch a porn movie together all of these things can help to make things a little more intresting
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