A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In my adult life a LOT of people have asked if I'm pregnant, even though there has never been any reason for it other than my fat belly!A bit of back story, I have a bit of a buddha belly lol, in fact I'm very slim but my belly just puts on all the weight. all the women in my family are this way (my sister is clinically overweight yet has legs and arms as skinny as kate moss). I have in fact seen the doctor about this, once where they performed tests but proved all was healthy (though did warn me that belly fat is a big cause for health problems in later life). Another doc told me it's not a problem or a defect, but a shape. Moreover, I eat super healthy, way better than most people I know (though I do like beer 1-2 times a week). But people are ALWAYS commenting on my belly, asking if i'm pregnant, this week 2 women asked me ! The first one didn't even ask, a colleague who's been in a diff. office for a while saw me and ran up to me rubbing my belly and congratulating me!! the other we had a blood donation drive at my office the other week and the tech said straight away 'sorry we don't allow pregnant women to donate' !!These are not isolated incidents, yet I consider myself a good dresser, I don't wear too tight/too small clothes and often wear more flowy clothes, never crop tops haha. In my country to comment that a person is fat is ok, but they take it to the extreme , ie. my ex roommate the second she saw me eating (often an apple ffs) would say'hold it there fatty you're already putting off anough men' etc. and even overweight girls will say 'if you're not pregnant then WHY is you're belly that fat? I mean GOD you're so chubby there, nice legs but big flabby belly huh' The sad thing is I (or at least used to) like my figure, if I've indulged a bit the last few weeks (ie holidays) I notice and I cut back, but generally I accept my belly, it's been that way since I hit puberty and everyone puts on weight somewhere, also my husband doesn't mind a bit. But when these digs keep coming, constantly and they dont even rectify or apologize but KEEP digging when i call them out, it hurts. the other day when it happened I felt like hiding in my house starving myself to death. Then later I looked in the mirror and I thought, I'm fine! I think my confidence is ok, it just can't accept the constant battering and it's come to the point I don't want to socialise at all anymore. How can I deal politely with these comments?!
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confidence, my ex, my figure, overweight, roommate, too tight Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (21 May 2014):
 Depending on what YOU want you do there are several options:
Working your belly muscles might help a little in toning the belly. Crunches and sit-ups.
Spanx undergarments ( it can distribute the shape of your belly in a way that you might not look pregnant) And it makes everything seem less "bulgy".
Keep on loving your body as it is. Having a little extra padding on the belly is NOT the end of the world.
If anyone says ANYTHING negative, you just reply I LOVE my belly! It should shut them up.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 May 2014):
 "It's an inoperable tumor and I've been told I have 6 months to live."
Pause, wait for the reaction.
"No, I just said that because I'm sick and tired of people commenting on my belly. Perhaps next time you will take a moment before you blurt out a rude comment like that. The doctor says I'm perfectly healthy and I am aware that my belly seems large to some people. I guess you are one of them. Now can we talk about something other than my personal appearance? Thank you."
Smile and divert.
That's one way to handle it.
The other, which can be kind of entertaining, is that you keep asking them what they mean.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand your comment about my stomach, what do you mean?" Keep asking the "What do you mean?" sort of follow up question until it dawns on them that they are really putting their foot in their mouth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2014): It also depends on your posture. Some people stand in a way their belly sticks up . You have a certainy body type when bellies gain the most fat.
There is a solution of doing lipo, but it makes no sence if you are still going to have a baby in a future.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2014): Use your stomach muscles to tuck it in, because you haven't done it in a very very long time or perhaps ever, it'll take a while totrian them up, you don't have to do sit ups or anything you just use your stomach muscles and push it in and raise your chest up, it improves your posture.
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