A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend made some sexy vids for me and sent them 2 my email while i was working away , months later we split after i found out she was cheating and in the heat of the moment uploaded them to internet . she found out and has said she is going 2 the police . were do i stand legaly . some people say as she sent them to me thay are mine to do with as i please , other people say she can get me arrested please help
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (19 July 2008):
Wow, you're a jerk. Hopefully you do get in trouble!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): You'd have to investigate your country's laws, but she sent them to you of her own free will, without stated expectation of privacy or that you would keep them to yourself. I don't know if such a thing requires permission the way personal correspondence might, in legal terms; see if it's possible to publish someone's letters without permission from the sender, that is the equivalent technologically speaking of your emails. Consult a solicitor to be absolutely sure. But this would be a civil rather than a criminal issue - her case would probably be on defamation of character rather than on harassment, as your intentions may have been petty but it wasn't to hound her (you didn't send them to people she knew; the possibility that they might see the videos is small). The police are unlikely to get involved over a few homemade sex tapes when no crime has been committed: not stolen but given; she wasn't coerced into making them; you have not distributed them to harass her or defame her. Legally, I don't think she's got a leg to stand on. But the way to get it to blow over is to take them down, apologise, and cross your fingers that they haven't been copied and pasted all over the web by jerk-offs, and that nobody ever sees them. (If that issue is brought up - is it possible to identify her from the videos?)
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (16 July 2008):
A test of maturity is whether or not you will break something that you cannot fix. You can't fix what you broke no matter what you try to do. You certainly can and should do the obvious - remove the videos from any sites that you can. You can't prevent the videos from going viral and being reposted everywhere.
A sincere apology is in order, and anything else you can do without making things worse. In the United States, the law may let you get away with it to a degree, but you are apparently in Australia, and Fade878 has mentioned the law there. Judges and juries have a way of getting to the heart of a matter. Even if you are not charged with a crime, any good lawyer can sue you for the tort of defamation of character in a civil action. The standard of proof is much lower.
My best advice is to apologize, pray, correct things to the best of your ability, and resolve to respect your partner, even if she stops respecting you. Ponder the first sentence of this post again carefully.
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A
male
reader, Passthrough + ♥, writes (16 July 2008):
 How would you like it if nude videos of you were posted online?
Take your punishment like a man.
You can and likly will be arrested. Dont be a jerk and deny accountability for the upload- It's not fair and sets bad precedence.
Tell the judge they were yours, and you acted out of anger, and you're sorry. Get a lean sentence, perhaps? Hope it doesnt get out of hand; hopefully nobody important sees the video.
She may have given them to you, but like a DVD, owning a digitial copy doesnt give you right to distribute.
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A
female
reader, Belladonna +, writes (16 July 2008):
I can not believe that CERTAIN people on here are telling you how to escape the heat.
What you did was petty and wrong and you deserve to be punished for it.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Hi, Fade878, I totally agree that this shouldn't happen but the laws you are talking about have to do with an office/employee situation. Anything sent on email by the public right now is considered public and so therefore if you don't want your personal info to become public info, be careful what you send. Corporations are under different legal standards and have different security measures they have to follow that individuals aren't held to.
The things you mentioned sound great but it doesn't apply to this situation, unfortunately.
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 474.17 Using a carriage service to menace, harass or cause offence
(1) A person is guilty of an offence if:
(a) the person uses a carriage service; and
(b) the person does so in a way (whether by the method of use or the content of a communication, or both) that reasonable persons would regard as being, in all the circumstances, menacing, harassing or offensive.
Penalty: Imprisonment for 3 years.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (16 July 2008):
How about you get acquainted with your Country's law.http://scaleplus.law.gov.au/html/bills/0/2004/0/2004080501.htm
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (16 July 2008):
It becomes precedent when other cases have gone before the courts, and a decision was made.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (16 July 2008):
au: Jilted lover jailed for emailing explicit shots
A spurned Australian lover who sent sexually explicit
photos of his ex-girlfriend to her American friends,
family, university and workplace, was today jailed for
three months.http://smh.com.au/articles/2004/05/14/1084289873723.htmlhttp://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/05/14/stalker_email/
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (16 July 2008):
Right now, the laws are in your favor because they haven't caught up with all of the technological advancements or privacy issues, none really exist. Someone can hack into your email account and get personal info and there's no consequence yet if they break into your house, it's a prison sentence. There isn't any precedent on this particular issue so you can't get arrested. As long as you didn't break into her house or car or office to obtain the tapes, you are in the clear. I would doubt the police would even look into this or care. It would be the right thing to do to send them back to her and take it off the web.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (16 July 2008):
You did it out of revenge to ruin her reputation. You did it in spite. They were yours while together and since you did not have permission to upload them...I'd say...you're in for it.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 + ♥, writes (16 July 2008):
 It may have been one thing if you just had possession of the videos but now you have gone a step further by uploading them to the internet. If I were you, I would take them down immediately and apologize. You dont want to be sued for damages that you may cause her such as grief from friends, family and the community. She could easily be fired from her job and have a hard time getting a job.
Do the right thing and keep those videos private and it may be in your interest to destroy all copies of the videos.
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