A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Guys or ladies, I would loooove some advice please! I have been casually dating a guy long distance now for bout 5 minths now known him for a year. He lives in kentucky I stay in california. Seeing each other is never a problem we take turns flying to each other, we always have a great time when we are with each other, if you saw us out you would think we were a happy newlywed couple or something. We never had spoke on where we stand with each other in much detail.Other than one time I told him if he ever did want to pursue something deeper id be down, his response was "im anxious even curious to see what could become of us" cool right? Also he calls me future wife, his last name, wifey etc. n I do the same. Sounds good right? also has menioned us having a baby one day. He speaks alot about future and I just follow his lead but sometimes I think maybe he is just "talking"Well I went to visit him this past week for 3 days, we had a great time as always. We were eating lunch and he mentioned how he wanted to move to florida and how I should meet him there, I laughed like yeah right your just joking. I mentioned how my mom would be sad and he said "well you can always visit your mom" so I came back home, let him know I made it safe, and I was thinking, maybe I didnt answer that question right, what was I thinking I want to be with this man!So I texted him and said "soooooo when are we moving to miami? :p" he said "maybe summer 2013. Then I said........... "i want to be with you.............." That was 2 days ago, he has yet to respond but yet he is updating sports on his freakin facebook status every 10mins! What is up? He is the one always talking about the future,n babies n wifey n now moving with him. I wouldnt dare say things like that to him on my own in fear of scaring him off. But soooon as I finally do....nothing. What do you think? Sorry so long. I appreciate your advice in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo anonymous he does text daily, even when we things like I miss u, he will respond, or even if I ever text and he doesn't respond that day, the next morning I'll allllways get something and vice versa, 3 days is a little too long which makes me think he is having a hard time accepting that I said I want to be with him. The moving together isn't the issue, he is the one that brought that up, and even responded to that text, but 5mins later literally is when I said I want to be with him...and nothing. I guess it didn't really need a answer but the fact that I haven't gotten my daily good mornings etc. shows me something's up. I did test the water and sent him a message a few mins ago saying hope I didn't scare you, maybe it was too soon to tell you that, or maybe shouldn't have said it in a text. So *sigh* I'll see what happens..
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): He didn't really need to answer. How long does he usually take to contact you - does he do it daily?
Have you messaged him since then - not to do with moving in together, just anything ?
I think you should initiate, test the water, then take it from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your replies! Yeah I think reality did sink in. And he's like oh crap just got real lmao! Yeah it's unusual for him to go this long without responding too. I don't know, yeah I did say I want to be with him, but he is the one alllll the time putting things out there, making babies, future wife, now moving next year, I wean geesh what am I suppose to think lol
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (26 March 2012):
I think you may be thinking into this too much and like anonymous said, it doesn't necessarily require a response. But, I get what you mean. You were expecting something along the lines of, "That's great! Happy you made the decision to come to Miami!" However, I think your instincts might be right with the whole he's just "talking." With some men, when reality hits, then they're like, "Oh, crap just got real! Now what do I do?"
I agree with Deagan, you should bring it up to him. It is a little odd but then again, I don't know how he is most of the time. But just a piece of advice from a woman who has moved for a man during a LDR, DON'T DO IT!!! You'll miss your mom, you'll miss your friends, and all you'll have is some dude you've known for 5-months. Of course everyone has to find out for themselves, but just a warning. It won't be pure bliss...seriously. If he wants to be with you bad enough, he'll move for you.
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female
reader, Deagan +, writes (26 March 2012):
 It's been two days, you should probably initiate the conversation.
Call him. If he doesn't answer, text him. Say something along the lines of "Hey you have me worried about us. I thought we were doing great, and when I said 'I want to be with you' I didn't hear from you. Can you talk to me? Did I scare you?"
Hopefully he can open up to you.
In all honestly though, you probably did scare him. You two have been "casually dating for 5 months now." That's how you put it in your post. That's not a long time. Sure, he calls you his wifey all the time, and talks about the future and moving, but you really hit the nail when you seriously said that you want to be with him. You even said yourself that that it was the first time you mentioned something serious about that to him, and he did not take that lightly.
Like I said, initiate the conversation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): I don't really see your last message to him as one that required an immediate response... there was no question in it. It's like person 1 saying "Let's go to the store" and person 2 saying "Okay."
All you did was agree to something he seems to have been suggesting for a while now, so I doubt you scared him off since no "new" feelings or variables were introduced. It's not like you were the first to confess your feelings and he then went silent on you.
Is it unusual for you to go two days without a Facebook message from him?
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