A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I told him I think he's the one tonight by text and all he said was that he was genuinely speechless. What's does that mean? Does he not feel the same? How can I rell? I feel hurt for some reason. We have been together for 8 months
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso my boyfriend is 24 not the same age as me. And we do love each other. I just want him back home with me! :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have talked about the future briefly and there was a reason it was done by txt. Because we're a big distance away from each other. He's doing a placement in south africa and has been gone a long time but we are still going strong! So I would consider that to be a good thing!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 YOU TOLD HIM BY TEXT? Don’t you think something of this magnitude could have waited till you were face to face? I do not doubt how you feel but I can say that it might change later on down the road. I know my ONE at 21 was not my one at 29… Why did you tell him how you feel? Did you do it to get him to say it back to you? Did you expect him to say it back? Are you hoping for a proposal for Xmas? You feel hurt because you want him to reciprocate the feelings and you fear he does not. Well he may but he may not be ready to deal with it…Give him time. AND from now on, IMPORTANT information needs to be done face to face NOT in TEXT
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2011):
That will have come as a shock. As the others have said. To be just 18-21 and have a girl say 'you're the one' is pretty high up with there things that make men speechless. Give him a few days to work out how he feels.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Give him time. His reply doesn't mean anything other than what it said, he is speechless and doesn't know what to say. He was probably surprised by this. Personally, I think you should have told him something so important in person rather than through a simple text. If you had told him in person you wouldn't be here wondering about what his reply meant, as you'd have been able to see his expression and talk to him.
You feel hurt because now somehow you are more vulnerable as you expressed your feelings and he didn't return them. That's not to say he doesn't feel the same way, but even if he doesn't, what difference does it make? You told him how you feel because of how you feel, not because you wanted something out of him.
8 months is too early for most people to be saying the other is "the one". Most people would call this rushing into things, and would need a lot more time. So it's okay that he needs more time before he can express similar feelings.
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female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (8 December 2011):
 He could feel shocked. He could feel that he isn't ready for such seriousness. He could feel you're moving too fast. He could feel that he doesn't feel the same. The possibilities are endless! You won't know until you actually TALK to him.
Given your age group and the length of time you've been dating, these are some super serious feelings that your boyfriend was likely not expecting nor planning on reciprocating anytime soon, not because he doesnt love or care for you, but because he is so young and likely not thinking that far ahead. You dropped a very surprising bomb, and through text message. He likely was literally speechless. You need to address this in person and ask him his honest feelings.
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