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Big change since I met the online guy in person

Tagged as: Online dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 December 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met this guy online about three months ago. Our conversations were always super silly and dumb. We never really talked about anything serious like how our days went or stuff like that. His phone service sucks and there's usually always a delay in text messages, sometimes I wouldn't hear from him for a few days because he thought he was ignoring me while I thought he was ignoring me. Anyway, about a week ago, our convos randomly changed and became really sex oriented. We ended up meeting and of course, had sex. Since then, he doesn't talk much but when he does, it's just him telling me stuff about how his day went or how work was exhausting or whatever, just serious-type conversations that I'm not used to considering our crazy convos that we were having for so long.

I guess I don't know whether to chalk this one up as a loss, or still try to initiate conversation. I feel like if he really wanted to talk then he would, right? If he just wanted sex then why bother still talking days later, wouldn't he have just disappeared completely?? Maybe I've got it all wrong, but what should I do?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (8 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI"m going to go in the opposite direction and say that now that you have had sex he sees you as relationship material and is telling you about his day as a way to bring you closer to him on a daily basis.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011):

OP here. Just thought I'd add a little more detail. When he tells me about his day, it is detailed. He'll tell me about random little things that happened. As for our chemistry, I thought things were fine. We were talking and laughing the whole time. But again, I could be wrong.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (8 December 2011):

Ciar agony auntI could be wrong, but my guess is that after meeting in real life he's realised there is no chemistry between you (at least not on his end). Try not to take it personally, as it does not mean there is something wrong with you. Sometimes things just don't work out. Chalk it up to a loss.

You might want to delay having sex in the future though. I don't know what role, if any, that played in it, but it certanly doesn't help to reserve yourself until you are absolutely sure about someone.

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