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I told her how I felt and she has not spoke to me since! What should I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Long distance, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2012)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

actually i don't know what to say or ask, i really need some help or advices maybe because this thing just make me really stressed. and here's my situation.

i met this girl a year ago from facebook, I met her family year earlier from facebook because i have... let say good friendship with her brothers. eventually her brother introduce me to his sister, the girl i love now. and she decided to meet me at my country because they want to make a good vacation here, yeah we had really good times here and they stayed at my house during their vacation. the thing i afraid was, i was afraid to love her because this will be painful and difficult to maintain relationship with a person who live far away from me, and that's happening right now.

and the problems are, we live in different country and we have a huge gap about our age, she's 26 and will be 27 in may, and i'm just 22 years old. i know that's just silly to love older woman, but what can i do then, what can i say about it. few months ago i told her that i love her and will be appreciate whatever her answer. but she just disappeared suddenly and didn't say anything about it. this thing just make me stressed really. i know she has no bf there because she told me that. i keep wondering what happen with this, i mean is she doesn't like me or what because she didn't say anything about it. she just disappeared and never contact me anymore since then. if she doesn't like me, it's fine as long as she tell me about that. but this bloody thing make me really stressing. and i know this is really ridiculous because the distance between us, but i told her i'll be there after i finish my study, but she just disappeared without say anything.

what should i do? should i just moving on or stay with this one? please if you have some advices just tell me then.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

okay guys thank you so much.... i text her yesterday and she wanted to talk to me on the phone when i have a time. but thanks very much for your advices. cheers. :)

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (26 March 2012):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntA lot of problems with people in more conservative areas of the world, including the southern USA where I live, guys say they love a woman without know crap about them.

You love the idea of her and that is what scared her away.

To a woman, especially in Indonesia where there is Shariah law, it would be massively intimidating.

Rethink how much you know her and realize that you don't know her well enough to love her. You love the idea of her that you have put into your head.

Once you have done that, message her again and say to her, "look, I thought about what you said and it was nuts. I don't even know you well enough to love you. However, due to the societal expectations my country has, I let that influence my feelings for you, instead of our actual interactions. Would you like to get together sometime like we did before? No expectations, whatever happens happens?"

If she does not respond, then do not contact her again.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (26 March 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntI think she made herself very clear, she's not interested. Therefore you have no choice but to move on.

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A female reader, Ima FreAk!  United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2012):

Ima FreAk!  agony auntHiyaaa,

You should contact her and talk to her. Honestly if something bugs you that much you have to ask coz you'll never know!

Contact her, facebook her and ask her is she okay or what not and slowly subtly ask her what you just said that does she like or not.

Even if she doesn't like you, you're okay with it and you should tell her that you're okay with it but you just need to know.

What you're telling us you should go and tell her directly coz it shouldn't bug you. If you can't contact her then ask her brother or something to get her number and try.

But if she doesn't response well, leave it and move on coz sometimes women gets a bit startled and like shocked coz it's too sudden, random or outta the blue situation.

Don't stress over it just calmly contact her and ask her politely. :D

Hope my advice helps!

Good luck!

Lots of love,

Ima FreAk!

x

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