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male
age
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*WC
writes:I am a male (47). My fiance is 43. We've been together for close on 10 years. We had a really amazing sex life up until 4 years ago, when it became less and less frequent and less and less adventurous. As I write this we haven't had sex in more than 4 months, and the period before that was 6 months and 9 months before that, so, three times in the last year and a half. I am gut-sure she is having sex with another guy, but how to approach it. Never mind the why we aren't - we have been down that road, and both agree on the stresses and the time we've been together and my children who are with us and so on and so on. I don't go out and get laid, but am convinced that she is - and I'm not an insecure or jealous kind of guy. Help please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): If her phone is on a contract she'll have statements showing what numbers she called, when and for how long. But if she's having a bit on the side she'll be trying very hard to hide her tracks, especially if she thinks you're getting suspicious and onto her.
A private detective might be one answer if you can afford it, they usually get results quickly if the programmes on the TV are anything to go by.
If it turns out to be bad news, you need to have a plan worked out as to where you go from here.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Thanks Kelly. She travels to work training 1x per month and needs to overnight. For the last two occasions she has booked a room alone (they normally share - all girls), but she says they disturb her when she has to work in the evening. I did find a Business Card in her Purse the other day with the name of the Manager of the Guest House. I actually joked about it because she had asked me to get something from her purse. She played it down. On Monday past I tried to call her in the evening and no answer. 10 minutes later she called me back and said she hadn't heard her phone. Very unusual for her. I sms'd her the next morning like we normally do, and she answered about an hour later. Said she'd overslept. I have checked her Contacts on her phone, his number isn't in there. I'd need to check her Call Log I guess......
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (6 May 2009):
 Just ask her, be very clear with the question. Or you could gather evidence, you could look through her phone, computer history, diary, draws, cupboards and wardrobes. Follow her wherever she goes and take pictures if you see anything. Record when she goes out, how often and where she says that she is going, then look for patterns... When you have enough evidence then confront her! X
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