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I think she's cheating as she's alot wider down there than she used to be...

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, *dward1 writes:

i think my girlfriend may be having sex with some one else. she is a lot wider down there than what she used to be, i have been seeing her for a year know and i dont fit aswell as i used to. am i write in thinking this way. can some one help me out on this?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (27 February 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntDoes anyone ever really know that their partner is unfaithful? I think strong relationships are built on trust and respect. If there is a lack of trust, we have to examine the reason for that. Previous history of cheating, suspicious behavior, those might be some reasons. Another reasonable explanation for lack of trust is the partner's insecurity.

The problem with insecurity is that it can kill an otherwise happy relationship.

So you have no other indication that she might be unfaithful to you, other than 'she seems wider' and there are times you go for days without sex? I'm having trouble understanding what you mean by: "the fact i could of done it my self well so could some one else before me". I'm worried for you that you are creating a problem where none exists. Little niggling doubts may have their roots in a subtle but real change in the status quo. They can also have their roots in fear of abandonment, feelings of neglect or insecurity. The trick is determining which is the case, without wrongly accusing a perfectly innocent partner. Good luck with that!

All the best.

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A male reader, edward1 United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2009):

edward1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for your answers.the logical biological comments would put my mind at ease,but would i ever really know?without proof of her cheating.and just to anawer to two of the answers,i am always fully errect and the fact i could of done it my self well so could some one else before me, especially after sometimes it could be days until we have sex.but on the other hand maybe it has took me one year to acually hit the rigth buttons,yes its a tricky one but i think it will make my trust stronger for her thank you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009):

The vagina is really elastic. Unless she's had a baby recently, or has been putting watermelons in there, any sensation that she's bigger or smaller is probably due to something else, like her levels of arousal, or (sorry) how erect you are!

This is such a ridiculous myth but it always seems to come up. A woman's vagina doesn't stretch out the more sex she has.

Also, if she's your age cut her some slack (mind the pun).

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (25 February 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntAre you sure you're not shrinking? Look, if your girlfriend is the same age as you, she may be entering or is in menopause. As women age, their pelvic muscles may weaken, and that may be causing the change you refer to as being 'wider.'

Let's face it, if women got wider every time they had sexual intercourse, they would pretty much be an empty balloon by the time it was all over. Prostitutes' careers would be over in a matter of months if this were the case.

The vagina is an elastic structure, held in place by connective tissue and musculature. When a woman is aroused, the vagina actually expands to accomodate the penis. So maybe the fact of the matter is that after a year, you're finally really getting her turned on. You're getting her so aroused that she fully expands to accept your penis and you are perceiving that as being 'wider'.

I think unless you have other signs of cheating, you have no reason to worry.

So again, remember, the vagina is elastic, if it grew bigger every time it was penetrated, we women would be able to give birth to basketballs with ease.

I vote for her being more aroused and lubricated. Either that or she is experiencing some weakening of her pelvic floor muscles.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 February 2009):

Honeypie agony auntShe might not be doing kegels. After all if she is in her 40's her muscles aren't as tight as they used to be.

If you suspect cheating I hope you have more then that to bring to the table....

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