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I think my husband is having an affair. He tells me I'm not in a position to say anything!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

how do you survive in this situation

i married a guy though my parents didnt like him and definetly didnt want me to marry

i have a three month old baby

my husband has a baby ,from cheating of course with a girl who has no respect for our marriage

my husband wont stop talking to the girl who he wanted to marry before he met me ,though he said there is nothing between us i know it is a lie ,from their text messages and email

since he won the estime of my mom he wont stop making me look bad in front of my mom ,saying i am a bad wife wont cook or clean ( this is important in our culture ) and that is such a lie .

what would you do ? i want to leave but i am scared i wont make it with my income . a child is expensive ,and a car and a rent ,insurance ,medical premium , food and utilities . when i think about it i definetly want to scream and giving that i aint got much family here ,besides my sister who is already saying " i told you not to marry him" it is like he only waited for me to have our daughter to show me what he ia really made of. we tried to talk and he told me i am not in the position to tell him what to do .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for your response . i just talk to my mother in law who said he will talk to him and try to figure what is his mind. i also taked to my mom who told me ,it is too early in our marriage for us to be fighting so bad and that it doesn't hold any good future promisees for us . , (we ve been maried now for 1 year and dated three years prior to our marriage ) . so now i am trying to get out of this place . sure it is very sad . being divorced with one kid at 21 isnt any person 's dream .

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntMy suggestion would be:

STEP 1 - I think you ought to show your parents/family your posting. You need help and support. Don't worry too much about them saying "I told you so..." - they will probably say it - but then after that will realise what help you need. You made decision to marry based on the information/opinion you had at the time. The information has now changed, your man has now changed. You can't predict the way someone's behaviour will change in the future. At the worst - all you're going to have to say is " I made a mistake, I am only human."

STEP 2 - If your family can't help come back to this website.

STEP 3 - Take advice about the various agencies available in your state (US state) to help you.

STEP 4 Contact the support agencies confidentially.

Good luck. Suggest you keep posting from time to time. Just putting it down into words is therapeutic in itself and helps you see more clearly.

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