A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I asked a question a few months ago, about this guy at work I had a huge crush on, I thought and still think I'm in love... I wasn't able to get over him and apparently, he was sort of into me as well. Here it goes:Back in May, we went out clubbing, he had a few drinks, I didn't. We were dancing and having so much fun, he suddenly kissed my cheek and then slowly moved to my lips, so I kissed him back. We ended up making out all night long. On Monday, he said it was a mistake and even though it was great, he thought we shouldn't do that again, I agreed and went back to being friends, without the awkwardness being present sometimes. It went well until about a month ago, in my b-day party, he tried to do it again! He tried kissing me and I stopped him, I told him the truth, that he had hurt me before when he said it was a mistake and told him I wouldn't do it again unless I knew this time it was something serious. He told me he wasn't ready for that but that he deeply cared for me, he was insisting I gave him a kiss so I made him promise I was going to be the only girl he would kiss and he did, so I kissed him back and we went back to my house to keep making out. That's all that happened. The next day he went to my house again and made out again all night long. The next day, I had to leave on a business trip, so I told him to wait for me. He told me he wanted us to keep seeing each other, not as bf and gf, but as a "special relationship" and I said yes.When I came back from that trip, he was a little distant and I noticed he was being a little indifferent, so I began to act the same way. He immediately noticed my coldness (I even blocked him from msn and facebook) and asked what was going on (the bastard!) I told him I was avoiding him just as he was avoiding me and he said he wanted to talk so I agreed.We talked, first thing out of his mouth again was... "what happened that weekend was awesome and I don't regret it, but it should have not happened, I know what you want, a serious relationship and I'm not ready to give you that". Shocked as I was (not really) I told him I didn't want to speak to him ever again and wanted nothing to do with him, I asked him to refrain from talking to me unless it was work-related. I could see how his face changed, I guess he thought I'd ask him to be friends again and he told me, he wanted us to stay friends, I told him no way... He asked for forgiveness and told me it was all his fault that he never meant to hurt me, I said there was no need for him to apologize that it was my fault as well for believing in him again and then I just walked away.Now, I see him every day, he seems fine but I'm really really sad and feel crappy all the time. We were such good friends and had a lot of fun together, I really miss him! Last week I found out he wasn't doing as well as I thought he was, a friend of him told me he was miserable and depressed, that he missed talking to me and missed my friendship and that he didn't know how to speak to me, that he wanted to fix things. He told me that he might be sending me an email to ask for my friendship back. Well it's been a week and nothing... To hear those news made me feel even worse! I miss him too, all the time, I feel sadder and sadder every day, I'm getting desperate and I'm actually thinking of sending him an email and ask him to talk to me to fix everything and be friends again... but my pride won't let me! I made a decision when I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore I feel that he should be the one that takes the first step now... I'm confused and don't know what to do, any suggestion would be appreciated. Should I talk to him? Should I wait for him to contact me? Please help me! I'm going crazy! :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Tania, I think you are right. In fact, that's exactly what I told him, if we keep being friends, we might end up doing the same thing all over again. I guess only time will tell, but right now, my pride and self respect come first, no matter how bad I feel. Thanks for keeping me from doing a crazy thing out of desperation!
A
female
reader, Tania  +, writes (29 October 2008):
hi,
I don't think you should..coz if you do..you might be treated like a doormat...If you really like to have a good time with him, then by all means you should send an email or meet up. But if you are looking for anything serious..you shouldn't.
In my opinion, being friends, is going to lead you into the same rut, are u ready for that again??
...your self respect is in your hand...don't lose it!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): hi,
I don't think you should..coz if you do..you might be treated like a doormat...If you really like to have a good time with him, then by all means you should send an email or meet up. But if you are looking for anything serious..you shouldn't.
In my opinion, being friends, is going to lead you into the same rut, are u ready for that again??
...your self respect is in your hand...don't lose it!
...............................
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