New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login241614 questions, 1069166 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I think I got HPV from my new boyfriend which could only mean he's cheating on me, right?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2019) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I think my new boyfriend is cheating on me. I have recently been to the doctors because i am so tired and have a problem on my throat / back of my mouth. We use protection so i know im not pregnant. The doctor told me i have hpv. I know the only place and person i could get it from is him , He could have had this before meeting me but weve been together for 5 months and this has only just happened im unsure how to confront him about it

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2019):

Having read your second post OP, only confirms the necessecity to talk to your partner as it is quite probable that you contracted the virus from him.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2019):

OP here. Hes not my first but i had been single for over a year before meeting him. Before we met he told me hed had a bit of fun with a couple of women that was about 4 month before meeting me

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2019):

Was he your first and only?

I don't know for sure if that means he's cheating. But I would definitely keep my eye on him from now on.

It's such a new relationship. It would be odd he's cheating so soon. Are you

both exclusive to each other sexually? And discussed it before now?

<-- Rate this answer


A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2019):

This is a serious health matter that can not be ignored, so it is very important that you talk to your bf and start from there what to do next. I hope it is, as Honeypie said, one of the lighter and treatable types. Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer


A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (10 April 2019):

In any case you both should be tested together for a full battery of STD testing. If you weren't a virgin when you first had sex with your boyfriend; there is no way you could trace who actually infected you, because it could have occurred years ago.

I am pretty certain your doctor explained all about the infection; so I needn't add anything to that. You can't fault your boyfriend, if you've had a previous sexual-partner.

A testing for any other possibly dormant infections should be done on both of you. Your doctor probably took the precaution to check for any other possible STD infections; and should have informed you of their results. You should have your boyfriend tested; so he isn't spreading infection to other people, if he IS cheating on you.

I'd restrain myself from passing any blame; unless he is the only sexual-partner you've ever had; and he wouldn't have known he was infectious, if he has never been tested for it.

It is unfortunate that you weren't vaccinated back when you were around 11 or 12 (early teens), the vaccine has been available for the last 10 years. Condoms don't help completely; because they don't cover all the genital skin area. So even if you've used protection, you can still get infected.

Americans have been avoiding many types of vaccines that could prevent a lot of diseases in their kids; but the myths seem to be more effective than the facts. We now have a measles outbreak spreading; because someone spread the rumor that vaccines cause autism in children. There is no scientific fact to support it; but it is believed all the same. Myself and all my siblings have had all the vaccines. None of us are autistic. My nieces and nephews are all vaccinated, they're all fine.

Parents avoid getting girls and boys 12, and in their early teens their vaccine for HPV; because they don't even want to imagine their kids having sex. Worse, they fear the vaccine. So even though HPV vaccines have been well-publicized and many ad campaigns have advocated getting kids vaccinated; I guess many just don't trust vaccinating children. Practically everyone is exposed to some form of the virus. Most clear it through their immune

I agree with Honeypie, you should inform your boyfriend; but you can't blame him. He could have been infected for years and never knew it. He still needs to be tested for all types of STD infections for your safety and his.

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntMost sexually active people are likely to be exposed to HPV at some point, though most never have visible symptoms and remain unaware.

here are over 100 types of HPV, about 30 of which are primarily associated with anogenital skin and sexual transmission. So knowing EXACTLY who gave it to you, can be tricky to find out.

And it can lay DORMANT for a LONG time before it pops up.

Most cases of HPV, in either gender, remain unconfirmed clinically.

ONLY the HPV (genital warts) are one you can ACTUALLY see and for women it CAN be tested through pap-smear but it CAN NOT be tested WHEN you got it.

So if you have the "warts version" you NEED to talk to your BF so he can go get checked out. And no, he doesn't NECESSARILY have to have CHEATED on you to pass it on to you. IF it was DORMANT in him for a while or the SYMPTOMS took a while to show up for YOU. YOU might also have contracted this from a previous partner (if you had one).

I would suggest you TALK to your doctor about HPV vaccine. It won't "cure" what you have now, but it might prevent you from the more "aggressive" versions of HPV.

I don't think you NEED to CONFRONT him, but you DO need to bring it up with him and he NEEDS to go get checked.

<-- Rate this answer


Add your answer to the question "I think I got HPV from my new boyfriend which could only mean he's cheating on me, right?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft