A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for just over a year, i am 20 nearing 21 and she is 25 nearing 26. We met on a work night out and we wheve been in love ever since.From the start she has always asked about my ex girlfriends, what i did with them, if i ever cheated on them, how we split up, do i keep in touch etc etc.I came to realise that maybe telling the truth wasnt the best idea! Unfortunately i cant say i was a saint in my previous relationships (including the one i was in when i met my now g/f. I broke it off the next day to be with my g/f). i can hand on my heart say that i have never cheated on my girlfriend despite what she believes. There have been a few instances where ex's have text me (as i have never really split up with a girl in an "unfriendly" way) i have told them that they could no longer text me as it was causing problems for us, but this has caused her to trust me less and less. I think the age gap has a fair big part to play in it that she feels like im young and could find a new partner in the click of a finger, but this is not what i want. I want a real relationship, i want to move in with her and do all the lovey dovey relationship things. Lately she has gotten worse. I dont think she has a single ounce of trust left in her. I have not done anything majorly wrong to make her feel this way, she just thinks the worse senario of everything i do.I feel like im losing her and i can feel a break up showing its ugly face. i dont know what to do to make her realise how much i love her. No matter what i say, she has already made up her own mind about how i supposidly feel.Please please does anyone have any idea's? Thanks
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a break, cheated on my girlfriend, ex girlfriend, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): I also think you should do something. Maybe send all your ex girlfriends a text message in front of her letting them know you are in a serious relationship and can't be contacted. Or maybe let her answer your phone when you are together, or let her have the password to your email. All of these acts show a great amount of trust in her and that you have nothing to hide.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): First of all the age difference is not that big and quite frankly you are both very young and either one of you could easily find someone else if you wanted to.
I would not like it if my boyfriend was recieving text messages from other girls. You say you have not done anything "majorly wrong". Something is making her feel unsure about things. You need to talk to her and listen to her and maybe change some things. She will let you know. Talk to her.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (16 February 2007):
I personally think you need to make a gesture and seriously tell her how you feel and how much you love her. I admit you should have just been honest, but i can understand that at the time you didnt want your past runing your new relationship. Tell her that you didnt want anything to ruin your chances with her as you knew she was the one you wanted. You could ask her to get engaged just to prove that you are serious. You dont have to marry her.
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A
female
reader, stacey.m06 +, writes (16 February 2007):
hi this must be very hard for you. you probably feel like you're being punished for nothing. have you tried talkin to your girlfriend? you need to get to the bottom of this. perhaps she had been badly hurt by men in the past and is too scared to get close to you incase you do the same. cook her a romantic meal, and put the cards on the table.let her talk about her insecurities, and just listen to her, and give her lots of cuddles. this is a hard time for you both. i hope everything works out for you hun xx
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A
female
reader, wvgirl  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 For some girls, once you lie, it's very hard to regain their trust. My only advice is - if you lied because you were afraid she'd think negatively towards you about your past - tell her that... and then tell her the truth and how much you love her. And be prepared to stand on some rocky ground for a little while until you prove she can trust you again.
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A
male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 sorry to say this, but you cant really do anything now coz she already has her mindset that way. did you REALLY tell the truth? the whole truth? maybe you left a few points out.. remember, true relationships rely on trust, and if you dont have that, you wont have a loving and good relationship between the two of you.
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