A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been writing like crazy the last couple of days trying to figure out what's happening in my head.I have had this a couple of times, but the last time, it started about two weeks ago. I met a nice girl and we really seem to connect and like each other. But since I know that she likes me and there is a possibility of starting a relationship together, I feel very anxious. In the morning I wake up with a sick and nauseous feeling in my stomach, this has been going on for two weeks now.I have had this before when I had a girlfriend: After being together for some months, I started to get the same sick feeling in my stomach. It would last for many weeks and sometimes It was gone for many weeks. I eventually had to break up the relationship and after I broke up I felt sick for months.Whenever I get close with a girl, this sick feeling comes back and I get afraid to start a relationship , it feels like I will never be able to start a relationship again..I told the girl my story, just like I told you and I'm happy that she knows but the feeling doesn't go away.I think it is because in my mind, I do not feel good enough for a girl? It has always been a mistery. Maybe you know what this means? It can't go on like this, I don't want to hurt her. Please help me.Kind Regards.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have had relationships before where I did not have this anxiety, so I don't think that it is an attachement disorder, Serpico.Defensin, your answer touches something in me. I had a very strong first impression the first time I saw her. I thought that she was absolutely not right for me. However yesterday we talked and apparently she is pretty similar to me. I felt euphoric. I literally couldn't sleep because of my excitement. However the anxiety came back this morning. It's like I'm thinking again that it would never work..
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (25 April 2013):
Look up attachment disorder. Quite common.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): I used to feel the same way every time a guy gets too close to me. I feel stressed out start thinking of all the things that could go wrong, then what was once a fun dating experience would turn into a chore. I'd start to resent the guy for how I feel. Later on I discovered it simply meant I was not ready. Or that guy wasn't right no matter how good or fun or attractive he wasnt enough for me to want to leave my comfortable life and take on a responsibility having another person and making room. Most of the time I just felt like I was playing along, that the guy liked me more than I liked him. Something was just not right.Now I met this new guy, and even though I sometimes get scared of how things are changing I still want him to be there. I don't get sick to my stomach thinking I'll have to comfort him when he has a bad day or panic when he expresses himself. Both the guy is right and the time is right for me.One thing I learned is that it's never okay to keep pushing yourself it doesn't get better. You have to sit down and think do you really like this girl? Or do you feel she's more into you than you are into her and you're just being drifted passively? If its not right dont push it. Good luck!
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