A
male
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David231983
writes:Hi there, i've had a pretty eventful year, a 12 month relationship which included the birth of my first son has recently ended, but that's not what i wanna talk about.There's a girl that i work with and we've been acquaintances for well over 18 months there. She's stunning - but above all she's a lovely girl. Problem is (well for me) is that in a few months time she will be someone's wife, she has a few kids with this guy and has been with him for a good few years.We have been flirting on our internal email at work and have just got on really well, i mean i've told her things about my life that i wouldn't feel comfortable telling most other people. Our flirting is very innocent and jokey i might add!!!!However I think i'm increasingly falling for her and she knows that i fancy her 'cos of the way i flirt with her. I really would in an ideal world like to be with her, and we have spoke about the fact that if our situations were different then maybe something could have happened between us. That was a nice thing for her to say, and it made me feel like i was king of the world for a time.I know that she has a lovely family and is very much in love with her partner. I feel that maybe my lust for her and my growing feelings for her could really wreck our friendship, i know what i should do and that is keep my mouth shut and focus on somebody who is single but feelings are feelings aren't they.I need some advice please. Thanks.
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male
reader, q1605  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 yes but the situation is not different. She is about to be married and let me tell you. If she came to you tomorrow. And she told you that she had spent the week end reflecting on her life and mistakes of her past and how she wants to make the best of her time. And how this all made her see you in a different light. And she realized that you are the one for her and for you to just hold on a minute and as soon as she gets settled in at her desk she will call her husband to be and tell him the wedding is off and not to try to talk her out of it because her heart now belongs to this man at work that she cannot be denied even one day further. You would probably have to be worked over with those defibrillator paddles. But that is really what your question boils down to. Because anything less drastic than this wouldn't change the course of events as they are planned right now. So this is why you will get these thoughts out of your head. You can flirt but always remember that flirting is all that it is. And if you attend the wedding you will only think of what a lucky man he is and you will feel nothing but goodwill for them and hope for only the best of luck for the union
A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Leave it alone, If she has children with this man then at the very least don't those children deserve the chance of their parents being together?
I know it must be hard for you and yes you may well be in love / lust with her but she is in love with another man...the man she is going to marry. If you act on these feelings there is a very real possibility you will loose your new friend. Maybe concentrate on your new son a little more and this lady a little less?
I wish you all the best and good luck for your future.
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