A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years, before packing my bag to come to the US to be with him 6 months ago. The first 6 months were very stressful and challenging, as I learnt to adjust to the new environment, make friends, weather, etc. So we ended up arguing alot over trivial matters. Finally in February, he broke up with me, saying that he no longer has any patience for me. It broke my heart so much (this was my first serious relationship). So I tried to be strong and get on with my life here. A week later, he started to text me, asking me how I was doing, what's my plan for the weekend, etc. He even text me to let me know that he just got promoted. This soon became a weekly event. Last week, he asked, when's my Spring break and if I would consider missing some classes to do something that I will never forget. I asked him what ideas he had in mind. He replied saying that he was just pulling my leg. He'd be going away for holidays with his friend the following week. I loved him so much, he was my emotional pillar (my only friend) that I could lean on. I still love him.. but I'm alway trying to move on with my life too. His actions made me really confused. Why is he still trying to keep in touch with me? He'd fill me in with his plans and hoping that I'd do the same too. But I've been very curt in all my replies.
View related questions:
broke up, long distance, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionStayc63088 and MissKin, thanks for sharing your views with me. I guess I dont have the courage to ask him what he wants from me, because I'm still pining away for him.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 To me, and I may be wrong, it sounds like he is just trying to keep you around. I say this because I went through the same thing with an ex. We broke up because he wanted to pursue his ex girlfriend. Now he is trying to talk to me again. But not saying he misses me or loves me, but just asking whats up, how I'm doing, etc. It is very confusing. Why break up then try talking to you? I think he doesnt want to let you go completely or allow you to move on completely. He may decide later he wants to come back and wont be able to if you have gotten on with your life so he is keeping in touch. The fact that he's asking you what you are doing for spring break then saying hes just kidding about doing something together? Not sure why he did that. It's mean. I would ask him flat out what he wants. Say, "you broke up with me...why are you talking to me??" see what his answer is. If it isnt that he wants to get back together then you should move on and discontinue talking to him until you are over it. If you fully intend on moving on from him, talking to him will only make it harder. Good luck, I hope I answered your question.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 I think maybe he's feeling a bit guilty and trying to remain friends. I think he's going about it in a far too casual way whatever he's doing and maybe he doesn't realise how much it hurts you and that he's not helping you at all.
I think you should try to do what's best for you. Keep your distance until you really have moved on and until you don't feel broken hearted anymore. If you don't want to be around him or talk to him, simply stop replying, he'll soon get the message. You need to focus on you right now. Make friends. Adjust to life in a new place without him. Find things you're interested in and have fun. Get over him and leave him behind you. If one day you feel you can handle being friends with him, you can make contact but until then, i think you should do whatever you need to to feel better. even if that means not talking to him ever again.
...............................
|
