A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I move on after kissing my old boss who's married?I worked closely with a man, who was my boss on a project, at my last job who’s married. Through old co-workers I’d heard he talks about me non-stop and is “in love” with me. I moved for my new job and we had drinks with people when he was in town and I made the mistake of staying for a few more later with just him. He came right out and insisted we should make out. And I kept bringing up his wife and asking him if he loved her, etc. And he said yes, he does and she’s amazing and on and on. And I kept insisting that I would not make out with him. He said he’s never felt like this about any other girl and it was just me that he’s in love with and that he wishes he were younger and that he thinks I’m gorgeous. And honestly, I am flattered by the attention since I think he’s really funny. But I also think he doesn’t know me well enough to be in love with me. After several drinks, I gave in and gave him a kiss. I don’t want a relationship with him. And while all we did was kiss once, I felt horrible about it and left the bar. I’ve betrayed all females. I’ve betrayed my own values. I’m also fairly sure he’s going to talk about this to my old co-workers and the business I’m in is fairly small. I’m a single girl and he’s married, but I let something happen I shouldn’t. And now I feel like I’ve cheapened my own reputation. What do I do? Just keep quiet?
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cheap, co-worker, kissing, move on, my boss Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Yes, you made a big mistake. Sit back like a fly on the wall and watch how it unfolded. From the moment you decided to stay with him after the others left, it really began to unravel. The fact you even debated with him about kissing told him you were interested. He took a long shot and you didn't shut him down. That in itself was reason enough for him to keep trying. You sound sorry. Learn from your error. Actually, it wasn't an error. Error are not intentional. It was a choice. Make better choices because it defines our integrity.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Yeah, you screwed up a little bit, but no worries. The whole female population isn't shamed by you. We've all made mistakes, we know.
Just write this one up as a mistake and a lesson learned. Your boss is clearly a little sleazy if he's trying to hook up with his employee's, not to MENTION the wife. Next time just let him know loud and clear that he's the scum bag here, not you and that you're not interested.
I'd keep it quiet. It's just a kiss and it's your secret. If your boss opens his mouth, well... he's the one who's coming off like a creep anyways.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (16 October 2007):
It was a small slip up. Never tell anyone. Don't make the mistake again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Sorry hun but you asked for this. Don't forget that if you are drinking with someone it increases your chances of doing stupid things. Don't do it again.
I guess the only thing to do is to contact him and tell him you were out of line and are sorry. That should give you some peace of mind.
As for the other co-workers I think you should remain quiet so this won't get out of proportion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): If he's got even half a brain he won't go blabbing about this in case it gets back to his wife.
Put this one down to experience and avoid getting within kissing range in future. Forget about it or it'll eat you up.
Phil
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (16 October 2007):
 It was only a kiss and besides alcohol was involved! At least it stopped there and didn't go on any further!! Your reputation is not tarnished, not one bit. Just move on and don't look back! Life is too short to worry over this, go out and live life and forget about what happened! Move to another area if need be.
Don't worry, be happy!!!
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 We all make mistakes babe and at least you realise that was all it was, unfortunatly there is no control over him and what he may say, he is obviously a liar and a sneak how can he really love he wife like he says he does if he is willing to kiss someone else.
If i were you i would keep quiet and if something comes out then you will just have to get your story accross, at the end of the day he is the one that is married and should know better and most decent people will see that.
Take care.xx.
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