A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well here goes nothing. I really dont know what to do about my situation and i though i would give this a try. Im a 28 year old man. Who has never been in a real relationship or has even had a girlfriend. All my friends say im a very nice guy and any woman would be crazy not to date me. All my female friends are married, and i value what they tell me. I can be myself around them because i dont have to try to impressed them if you know what i mean. I seem to find myself attracted to married women. I dont know if this is due to the fact that i feel like i dont have to try or what. I could use some help here, oh and please understand, i have never done or would do anything to cause a marriage to break up. I know the limits of my friendships and they do also. So please dont call me a homewreaker cause im not. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Perhaps you need the equivalent of "good marketing"?
A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (3 April 2008):
I think you feel that your friendships with married women are "safe". There os no possibility of you having to commit or deal with a full relationship. I suspect that it is a combination of fear and poor self image. Because you do not have to try with your female married friends you can just be yourself, but you feel somehow that how you are with them is not enough with a woman who is single and potentially available.
Of course knowing this is just the first step to dealing with it. If I am correct, then what you should try is to be just the same with single women as you are when you are with married women. Do not try to put on a mask or to impress. It is not an examination or audition. Just be your natural self. You will be surprised at how effective that is as I can tell you that most women have a very good BS detector and will be put off by a false front. Remember that your friends who say that a woman would be crazy not to date you are basing this on who you really are, not some facade that you have put on to impress. So that is how you must be with a single woman you would like to date.
You do not have to be all confident, polished and suave. Just be you - a mix of uncertainty, and all the other characteristics that make up you and you will be surprised at what results.
Good luck.
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