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male
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anonymous
writes: I am 18 years old and through friends I've got to know this girl. We get on good and all and she asked me out but I said no because she is only 14. I know I ain't going to try anything with her becuase that ain't the way I am. Yet I'm still feeling regret for saying no and I just feel something - I dont know what. I also get jealous of stuff with her. But I don't let her know this. We are just mates now and will stay only mates because of the age thing. But why am I feeling this way? And is it something wrong with me because the way I'm feeling for someone so young? Thanks. Please Answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): The jealous feelings you are experiencing are entirely normal, and I think that you did the right thing.
I don't really know if it is right to be 18 and to be asked out by a 14yr old and to say yes. She is a child, who probably looks up to you a lot. You are a young adult who needs a relationship with someone a little closer to your age.
A few people mentioned the word honourable. - that's what this is about, you've acted honouraby, an act that sadly does not happen as often as it should. You should feel proud that you chose the choice that you did and I think, when time passes, you'll be pleased it happened like this.
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male
reader, lifeisgood421987 +, writes (3 August 2006):
dude forget all the other people that responded to ur question. I also interested in a girl younger than me shes 15 and im 19. yes theres the legal issue of the age difference but if u like/love someone then people shouldnt be able to stop that if ur both in high school then ur both old enough to make the right decision. I think u should talk to her first and take it slow but if u get into a relationship with her i feel thats completely fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): I have only one peace of advice that is “Go to jail and do not pass go.” Or at lest that is what a Jug would say if you where accused of having sex with a miner, having a friend that is only 14 is Ok. But if she wants more than friendship this can lead to serous trouble for you. If you say no and the girl fells scorned then she could claim that you had sex. On the other hand if you do end up having sex and you are caught this will lead to trouble. My advice is keeping the girl at arms length until she is older. This is probable the best way to deal with this situation, and will prevent the possibility of a conviction for you.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 July 2006):
 I have been out with an 18 year old at fourteen and it worked. I think you did the honerable thing by not going out with her. But if the feelings are still there in a couple of years who knows?
xx
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (16 July 2006):
 At least congratulate yourself on doing the honourable thing. That's something to be proud of.
As the other answer pointed out, doing anything more than kissing her would have landed you in jail, so it would probably have been either a) dangerous, or b) frustrating to be with her.
It's OK that you feel a little jealous of things she might do with other guys. You'd have to be made of steel not to.
But recognise that she's not the only girl who'll ever be interested in you. Accept the flattery of being asked out by her, whilst you also think about the fact that she's still little more than a kid, and there's not much that the two of you would have had in common, anyway.
It's probably not the only time in your life when a younger woman (or in this case, girl) will be interested in you, so look to the future, and be proud of yourself for making the right moral choice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2006): Regardless, you are 18 and she is 14- if anything were to happen, you go straight to jail- not worth it.
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