A
male
age
36-40,
*odo85
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now but we broke up once because of the long distance, it happened 2 or 3 weeks ago... But we got back together after 1 day no contact, she said we'll be together in 1 condition if I won't go out with another girls, I've never done that actually before, cheating her or something like that. She cheated me once, at least that's what she said. She kissed a guy. Also she said if we wanna be with each other then everyday we'll contact each other. Yeah, I'm always contacting her first but she never does it first. So what does it mean? I'm just feeling so strange, feeling like she's ignoring me. Like she post postcards on Facebook to my friends, posting happy eastern postcard but she didn't do it for me. I've talked to her about this but she said she didn't post anything, maybe some hackers got into her account. I think this is just an excuse. So I asked her what she'll feel if I do the same? Then she just said she didn't post anything. Several days later, actually yesterday she sent me a greeting card, saying this: Just wanna say I miss our old days. In my heart they are still shining. I don't know how the future will be like, but I wish you all the best on your way... But before this greeting card when we talked about ignoring things she said she wanted to give me space so give her too. What does she want? What is she thinking? Did she mean it really when she said she misses me? She doesn't say she love me or miss me by herself, doesn't call me or text me often like before now... I can only be back to her like 2 years later, not earlier than that. She knows this and we talked about this, she promised me she won't cheat me anymore, she'll wait for me... But I just feel she's ignoring me, doesn't talk to me like before. Should I stop contact her for several days? Or just continue showing her my care? Meaning call her everyday asking her what she's doing, how's her day and so on? I'm afraid if i won't contact her then she'll think i won't care about her and maybe she'll move on.... Please help me!!! Thanks in advance!
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broke up, facebook, got back together, long distance, move on, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dodo85 +, writes (30 April 2011):
Dodo85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, i guess if i won't contact her then it'll make sense that i'm giving her space but u know what? She sent me e-card again today, wishing me may day.... She didn't write anything, just this one: ''Yellow Bee in this ecard is just as lovely as u r! Wish u happy May Day''
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 April 2011):
 I honestly think that the distance is getting to much for her. She obviously did care for you once but at the moment I think she is just very confused and doesnt know what she wants. Yes I think distance probably is the best idea. Just mail her and tell her that you are going to give her some time and space to think about what she wants and then ask her to contact you when she is ready.
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A
male
reader, Dodo85 +, writes (30 April 2011):
Dodo85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionU mean i should do no contact rule? No call, no text, no e-mail for several days? How if she contacts me earlier? Like after 1 or 2 days? Should i pick it up? Or what should i say if she calls me?
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A
male
reader, Dodo85 +, writes (30 April 2011):
Dodo85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, i'd like to answer to ur questions. We've been together physically for 1 year and 4 months. Yeah, and u're right but i think if we're in long distance then there should be some way to maintain this relationship, right? Like chatting with each other, seeing each other through webcam or something like this. Actually i've asked her several times why she doesn't wanna come online and chat and she just said that because she doesn't wanna chat nowadays also because she needs to study. I also asked her if we're chatting then we can see each other through webcam even but she just refused me the webcam thing. If she's not interest in me then why did she want to get back together with me again? I've been talking to her about our relationship but she's just trying to find excuses.... Like last time, a couple of days ago i sent her a mail like this:
I would like to be straight with u.... As u know i'm here in Vietnam because trying to be a better man but all u're doing, like posting something to other people on facebook or hanging out with other guys and ignoring me, it's hurting me a lot. What will u feel if i do the same?
And her reply is:
I dont know what u r talking about. I didnt check facebook for a week and i dont know what u mean by posting sth to other people on facebook. As far as i remember i never make any comment all these days. Besides i didnt hang out with other guys. So be careful when u say anything. Tell exactly who did i hang out with??
U know, actually i'm afraid if i'll bring those questions up, like telling her how confused i am then it'll make her think that i don't trust her, i'll just make her think our bad times before and so on.... Don't u think so? Should i do the no contact rule? If so then, how long should a keep without calling her? Please check this e-card she sent me so maybe after that u can tell me more details. Thank u very much! Oh, and by the way, no matter who sent messages first but she's saying a lot of the times that i must feel happy, i must have nice life here and so on.... What does she mean by saying these? Also in the e-card she's said that: i wish u all the best on ur way... Does it mean anything? So the link to the e-card is:
http://www.123greetings.com/send/view/04128311107719104836
Thank u very much in advance!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 April 2011):
If am honest with you it doesnt show me much that she cares about you at all. She has cheated on you and she has makes no effort to contact you and then tells you that you arent allowed to go out with other girls. You have been with this girl for over two years now which is a long time but how much time have you both spent physically together in the relationship? There needs to be physical contact as well for a relationship to work. Spending quality time with each other does play a big part. You say you cannot get over to her for another 2 years? Can you both not work out holidays on where each of you can visit each other, two years is a long time to keep a relationship going without any face to face contact. It would take a lot of hard work and trust. If am honest it sounds to me like she is just not that interested. I think you need to talk to her and ask her what exactly it is that she wants because you are confused. Explain to her that she needs to make some effort as well if she wants to be with you.
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