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I no longer see a future with him. What should I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 August 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 18 August 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my fiancee for almost 3 years. He is 27 I am almost 20. I love him, but no longer see a future with him. Every little thing he does gets on my nerves now. The only thing he ever wants is sex. He grabs my boobs or my butt in public, and all he talks about in public is my boobs and sex. I cannot take it any longer. So many people have asked me why I continue to let him disrespect me. His family doesn't like me (well his mom and his daughter's mom), he lets his mom disrespect me. He doesn't like to pay bills, his child support is due now (for 2 months) and has yet to be paid, he doesn't care. He drives my cars, lives at my parents house with me, doesn't pay rent, i have to tell him to pay for supper, im just really aggravated and bored with our relationship. I have talked to him about the way his mom treats me and him not paying bills, but it always ends with an argument, and i get fed up and just stop. I am on the verge of breaking it off, what should I do????

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (18 August 2008):

kenny agony auntPersonally i think that the best thing that you can do is break it off, and soon, ultimately the longer you leave it the harder it is going to get, so do it as soon as possible. I don't think that things are going to get any better than this, he has just got no respect for you whatsoever. You can do so much better than this guy, so finish with him and find someone who gives you the love & respect that you so rightly deserve.

Take care x

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A female reader, junebug United States +, writes (18 August 2008):

u need to kick his broke ass to the curb. He kinda reminds me of that tlc song "scrubs" idk if u listen u that stuff.but anyways ur a independent woman and dont need him.yea u might love him but im sure when u guys break up and u meet a real MAN ur gonna love him alot more!my ex was just like ur b/f. I loved him so much but he was a loser..he even signed off his own kids bcuz he didnt work and couldnt pay for them.i still think back once in a while but then i relize how lucky i am with my new b/f....well not new now but my current b/f.he does so much for me and i cant believe i even stayed with my ex for 4 years.and for is mother, what gives her a right to hate u? ( i know i dont know the whole story)but u do everything for her son she should love u.who cares about her?let her be a bitch.just walk away from this relationship it will be the best thing that will ever happen to u. Good luck xoxojunebugxoxo

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008):

He's acting like the world and everyone in it owes him a living, and his behaviour towards you is absolutely appalling!

One sure way of stopping the arguments and all this bad feeling is to get rid of him. I think you'll all be a lot better off without his presence, and you KNOW you can do better than this guy.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2008):

Do what you've just said you want to do and break it off?

What are you waiting for? A letter from the Queen?

Dump him and kick him out. Next time don't let things get this bad as he obviously knows he can treat you like crap as you've been taking it for so long.

Never let a man write Doormat across your face.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, x..BabyGirl..x United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2008):

x..BabyGirl..x agony auntHe shouldn't be treating you like this. I think you should give him and ultimatum; things change or you go your separate ways.

I think there is nothing more forgivable than having a child and not paying for it. If he didn't want a baby, he should have used protection.

It sounds like you could do so much better. If he's upsetting you like that then maybe you should call it off.

As for his mother she should be giving you two support in the relationship and your relationship has nothing to do with his daughter's mother.

He shouldn't be disrespecting you in public and I think you should just end your misery and give him a shake up. You're young, leave him and find someone WORTH spending the rest of your life with; someone who will respect you and who has a mother that will dote on you. Good luck.

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A female reader, les United States +, writes (18 August 2008):

You're 20. What you should do is break up with this jerk, go to school, get a job, meet a decent guy.

There is no reason for you at 20 to be settling for a life with a disrespectful guy, his baby and his baby's mama.

Also think about how he hasn't paid child support. What if you get pregnant? If he doesn't support his current child, why would he support yours?

The question isnt what you should do, its why you haven't done it yet!

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A female reader, Holly D United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2008):

Hi it actually sounds like you do know what to do, its just really hard to take the plunge. if you no longer see a future for yourself and you have tried to talk to him, work it through, but nothing has changed, then it seems to be pretty clear you need to finish with him. But I guess you kinda new that. the hard part is that its such a huge decision as he is such a large part of your life, and it means rethinking everything you were so sure of. However once you have that conversation with him, although life will be a bit rubbish for a little while, ultimately I think you will feel quite relieved not to have to spend the rest of your life wth someone who disrepects, bores and annoys you. You will be free to pick someone who makes you really happy.

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