A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:OK, I had been in a long distance relationship with my BF for about more than 3 years. When we first started to date he was still seem his ex-girl and he said that he had no feelings for her; but he never broke up with her; he was not sleeping with her, but they continue what I would call a long distance relationship by phone, they were never physically involed. (that I know of). She eventually broke up with him, but it was a back and forth of fighting and calling. While, I was witnessing everthing without saying anything, well sometimes I woudld confront him but he would denied any contact with his ex. However, I know that was not true, and that he actually continue talking with his ex and his ex does not that he is in a realtionship. The years had past and I cant get her over my head. We are plainning to move in together this year, but I don't seem to trust him. I guest, I got tired of asking for the truth while he would lie and lie to me to the point that I dont trust him and I can't stand the fact that he would still lie to my face,.... I love him so much, but there is so much I could stand from him, and sometimes I explote and I release everything that I hold inside me, like now... I don't know what to do... please help...I know I have to break up, but I love him and it is so hard. Is it me? Am I too controling? Do I have a control issue? Because that is what he says. I need to be incontrol an dknoiw everything. And I dont like people lying to me. I hate it. Do I have to change?I am confused.
View related questions:
broke up, his ex, liar, long distance Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 You love him but you love the perfect image of him in your mind.
You are expecting too high an expectations from him and when
you compare with the real him who has plenty of faults ,
you feel terribly disappointed.
No one is perfect and if you are looking for a perfect man , he is not the man for you.
Your love has been misplaced.
If you really love him , then accept him as he is.
If you think his faults are too glaring ,
then he does not deserve your love.
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (29 March 2008):
 There is nothing that prompts the urge to be in control then not being in control. And you have zero control over this guy. There is nothing wrong with having some sort of influence over a person's life. But you want people to be the way you want them to be because they want to be that way. To hound somebody or exert undo pressure may work in the short term but it will never last. Don't change. Not for him. Start living your life for yourself and with the assumption that he is not part of your future. if he sees that the only way he can remain in your life is to put himself there and be there showing you respect and that he is there for no reason but to be close to you it might happen. But getting this guy in a headlock to keep him by your side is not how you want him in your life. And will ultimately drive him away
...............................
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (29 March 2008):
 No one likes liars and it has nothing to do with a control issue, it's an issue of betrayal. You say your boyfriend and his ex were never physically involved, are they both virgins? Have you ever seen this guy in person?
...............................
|
