A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy have been dating for the past 2 1/2 months and he is deeply in love with me already. At first I thought I was in love but I'm not. I love him but not the way he loves me. For the past 1 1/2 months while we were dating I've been noticing that he's a little possesive and very attatched to me, he comes over constantly, he always wants to be with me and doesn't leave me space. Yes I have talked to him about that but it just goes through one ear out the other. I have been giving him signs but he is really slow on them. He cries when I don't want to hang out with him. Like one time he just came over and and came in and I asked what he was doing here and he said I wanted to spend time with you and I told him not today, so he went in my room and came back 5 minutes later saying the only reason why I was crying is because you don't want to spend time with me so I told him I needed space. He said ok but stayed so I told him to go home... I don't really know what to do I really need help. Can you give me some advice on what I should do because I really do need the help. Should I break it to him or just give him another chance and talk to him?!?!?!?!? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): i have the same problem... Im confronting my B/F about it tonight. I feel like I can't be myself if I don't have alone time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): ok first of all you said you love him but are not in love with him.i think you've tried to be nice and although it may feel like you've tried everything infact you hav'nt. you should go out 2gether and meet new people. it seems he isnt very sociable or got much to do so find him something else to do besides spending time with you something he would enjoy and meet different people. this way you may end up with the space you want without actually hurting him. infact you'll be helping him out and maybe he will even thank you for it.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 July 2007):
 Flower girl has the words of wisdom.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (7 July 2007):
 Well the first time you spoke to him about it did not seem to make any difference so whats the chances it will this time either.
If you really like him and you think it is worth trying to talk to him about it then go for it, but make it clear to him that if things do not change then you will have to consider wether the relationship can go any further because you are begining to feel smothered by him.
Tell him you would also like to spend some time with your friends and you think that he should do the same, because if he cuts them out completely because he wants to spend time with you they won't stay around for long.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, am i alone? +, writes (7 July 2007):
 i do understand where you are coming from. i had that problem with a previous partner about a year ago.he never left me alone and wanted to see me every day and night!i couldnt handle it.i told him that if we seen eachother all the time our feelings for eachother would slowly fade away to nothing and that i needed time alone to see my friends,work and see my family etc etc and said how would he feel if he wanted to do things without me and i constantly wanted to be with him and not leave him alone.and he then realised i was right and gave me space.all you can do is try sitting him down and explaining that it's not going to work unless you get your space because you feel too smothered.but reassure him that you want to be with him and give it a go but u need time on your own too!! he can't be with you every day god gave us! hope that helps you out.xxxx
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