A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i need advice on the best way to get my revenge on him for putting me in this situation!!!!!me and my boyfriend had been goin out for 3 and a half yrs and have a daughter together, two days ago i answered his fone an a girl answered claiming she is 6months pregnant by him, he denies it but i said we'll find out in three months, ne way weather its true or not, im outraged tht it could even get to that stage.
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male
reader, 406rider  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 You should definitely find out if its true or not first. Can't take vengeance if he didn't do anything. If it is true, I say take revenge. If he cared about you so little to cheat on you, he could probably care less if your living well or being the bigger person by not doing anything. Doing something illegal is risky so if you take that route be careful! If you daughter is young I wouldn't worry about her remembering her mother as a vengeful person or anything like that.
Moving on to another quickly or someone he knows would be the best in my opinion. You have to show him that you're not thinking about him and that you don't care about him. (even if thats not true) If you want to go illegal, stashing drugs in his car then calling it in is usually good. Just be careful!
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (22 August 2008):
 First, the question of whether or not it's true is of great importance. Imagine how you'd feel if this woman made it up because your guy REFUSED to sleep with her and this is her way of getting revenge on him! So talk to him about it and settle the matter between the two of you. If he's innocent, just put this whole ugly incident behind the two of you and move on.
If he has cheated, there is a saying that "living well is the best revenge". What that means is that the very best thing you can do FOR you and TO him is to reach a state where he no longer matters. Where you are happy and contented with your life and he no longer has power over you. If you are consumed with trying to "do something to him", he is still holding power over you. But what you want and what you need are your FREEDOM.
Get out, get away, and forget the jerk, if that's what he is. Revenge is not really about him at all. It's about how you live your life from here on out. And the best way to do that is to live it totally without him, as if he never existed. Maybe it's not easy, but does he really deserve any more of your energy? He's taken up too much of your soul already!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 You are so right in being angry and wanting the worst for yor boyfriend. Let's say it as simply and directly as possible: he cheated on you, fully knowing what he was doing, and his relationship to that other girl was no fling, since they continue to see each other on a regular basis. He said he will "find out" in three months whether the child is his, but I'm sure that he wouldn't be hanging out that coolly with that girl if he were sure she could have a child by someone else. It seems he knows the child is his, and only gave you that excuse because he sort of wants you to accept the situation.
I'm sure I would leave a person who did such a thing to me.
I don't think revenge is a good thing. It means you don't stop thinking about the harm a person did to you, which means that person still has power over you. And then, any revenge you got from him would backfire on your child. I'm sure he would use your child against you.
I think it would be best if you just left and made it clear he isn't getting anything from you again.
Wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 August 2008):
You are obviously very very angry right now and understandably so. But revenge is never the way forward.
If you really think he cheated on you then throw him out of the house.
This is really painful for you but think about your daughter as well. Do you want her to see you as a woman who took control and acted with dignity? Or one who had an affair in revenge or did something that got the police involved?
I know you probably want to slap him silly so tell him to go and stay with a friend for his own safety until you've calmed down.
Good Luck!! xx
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