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I need help with how to relate to my LDR, please? I don't know what to do to make things better.

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I need urgent help. So this guy I met a year ago or a little more (in person) have recently started talking.

We share a lot of things in common, we're both creative and both of us are in college although I'm in a gap year staying with my family at the moment.

He is from abroad but I may be going to study in his country next year or he may come here.

He wants to meet this summer, just the two of us.

He's a wweirdo and we both have similar views on life etc. I came out of a very bad relationship last year and set my sights on him. We talk on Facebook and he says I can be as open as I like with him and send him as many messages as I feel like and he'll get back to me as he has a very demanding college schedule.

He goes out on the weekends.

Although sometimes when I go online and write to him he doesn't read my msgs or write to me first ever.

He says it's because he's not online for long and wants to properly converse when we talk. I just get suspicious because he likes other girls photos but says he doesn't really think a like is worth anything.

I'm a musician and wrote a song that I need lyrics to. He said he would love to do the lyrics but still hasn't don't them and it's been over 2 weeks.

Although when we do talk he reassures me that I misunderstand him and he's not really the type to talk a lot and hates talking online as he's not a "computer addicted guy", but I just want him to be crazy about me.

We exchange photos. Both sexy but not too sexy and some just nice casual ones. I know because we met in person that he's a deep thinker but I just want to captivate him and basically try to get him to see I'm worth his time and make him see I'm special and that he should appreciate me more.

Help please.

I've got angry with him and sent loads of angry messages when he hasn't written for a few days 3-5 but he alwsays remains calm and always comes back to me. Like he knows how to calm me down and tells me that he knows it's to do with my big polar and to stop worrying because he does like me. What do you think/ what should I do? I'm so worried. What kind of guy is he?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI really think you are NOT cut out for an LDR... you can't and shouldn't have constant contact... and if you blow up at him after no contact for 3 days... well that's over reacting.

You can't make him love you. You can't be something you are not. If you as yourself does not captivate him and make him want to spend time with you, being fake and phony will not work in the long run.

Your flag says USA but we don't have "gap year" here... unless you picked up the term from somewhere else. I ask because if he is from abroad and you are in the USA, then one of you will have to move and within a year or two.

LDRS cannot be sustained as Long Distance for much more than a year or two. LDRS when you are young are very hard you need money to see each other How often do you see each other? If it's less than every three months and you guys can't manage more than once or twice a year, then it's time to let this relationship go as it won't amount to much until you can be together in the same place full time.

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